My One & Only Fist Fight

In 1992 when I graduated from high school I couldn't wait to get out of my parent's house. My mom had just gotten married and I wanted to taste the freedom of adulthood.

We had moved between my junior and senior years in high school so I didn't really know any of my classmates very well. To make it even better, some of the required courses that were senior classes at my old school were freshmen classes in my new school. Half of my day was spent with people 4 years younger than I was.

I had kept in touch with some friends at my old school and attended the commencement ceremony. Heather had invited me and I was excited to see her graduate.

Heather was a friend that I had for about 2 years before I moved. She had gorgeous red hair and Angelina Jolie-esque lips and was blessed with peaches and cream skin. She was also a very sweet person. Unfortunately she didn't have much common sense and had ended up getting pregnant during her senior year of school. She had her son a couple of months before graduation but continued to attend regular classes rather than allowing herself to be relegated to the alternative high school.

In the summer of 1992 Heather and I moved into a one bedroom apartment in Tacoma, WA. She had the bedroom and shared it with her son and I slept on the pull out couch. It wasn't the best accomodations but it was what we could afford so we made due.

She was living on public assistance and I worked at Dairy Queen making $4.25 per hour. I had a car so I had the freedom to disappear when I needed to. I spent a lot of time with my best friend Jade. Heather had a big old boat of a car and couldn't afford a lot of gas so she was home a lot.

After about 6 months Heather and I were getting on each others nerves. We were both young but in totally different places in our lives. She was a mother and I was young, unecumbered and free to do what I wanted. I respected her and never had parties at the apartment and tried to be respectful. She had started attending a "holy roller" church and had gotten really into attending church about 3-5 days per week. She gave up make-up, cutting her hair and started wearing only skirts and dresses. I went with her a couple of times but it definitely wasn't for me. Any time a church has people come to the front of the church and start yelling in tongues it just is too strange for me. Heck, I grew up Mormon. You can't get much more subdued than that.

To go along with the red hair, Heather had a bit of a temper. I am a very non-confrontational person so if something bothered me I wouldn't really say anything. I just tried to let it go and put it behind me. Heather would get in my face and let me know exactly what she was pissed off about and it was very hard for me to deal with that type of communication.

I don't remember what really set off the argument. It might have had something to do with her turning all holy roller or it might have been about money or the fact that when her son would cry she would bring him into the living room (my bedroom) and put him in his swing with a bottle and leave him here. I honestly don't remember. What I do remember is finally overcoming my non-confrontational communication style and going off on Heather. I finally let her know what I thought about everything and somehow we started swinging at each other.

I can still see the entire fight in slow motion. I still remember Heather's fist swinging towards the side of my head and the stars that danced before my eyes when she made contact. I was more of a slapper. She was a puncher. I got a few good hits in and she got a few hits on me. We never hit each others faces but hit the side of the head, arms and such.

The fight ended when we had our hands so twisted in each others hair that we couldn't move. Both bent over pulling as hard as we could. After a short argument we both let go of each other at the same time.

As soon as the fight was over I walked out the door. I didn't want her to see my cry. I was so angry and so hurt and disappointed in myself. Here I am, an adult, and I can't control my temper.

I finally went back into the apartment and heard Heather on the phone crying to her Pastor about what had happened. I went into the kitchen and started sweeping a flashlight on the linoleum. Heather said something about that I wouldn't be able to find any blood. I wasn't looking for blood. She had hit me so hard she knocked the contact out of my eye.

Within a month Heather had moved out and I had the apartment to myself. I moved back home a few months later.

I never did find my contact.

Hump Day Hottie

Born May 2, 1952 in Buffalo, NY
Emmy and Tony Award winning American actress.
Attended Villa Maria Academy, after which she studied at Julliard.
She has been married to actor Matthew Cowles since 1983 and is the mother of two grown daughters.
Her most notable role was as Maryanne Thorpe in the sitcom Cybill.
She has appeared in the movies Addams Family Values, Chicago, How The Grinch Stole Christmas!, Bulworth, Bowfinger, The Birdcage and Cruel Intentions.
Dmarks also has a weekly dedication to this actress.

This weeks Hump Day Hottie is ~ Christine Baranski

Wounded Winkie

OK, I know that I promised that I would write about my one and only fist fight but something happened tonight that I just HAD to share.

D and I were at the sink doing dishes and I had just come back into the house from grabbing my lunch dishes from the car. He was standing on his step stool washing silverware and I told him that since he was helping wash dishes that he could have ramen noodles instead of tacos if that is what he wanted.

All of a sudden his stool slipped back about a foot or so and he fell foward towards the counter. I heard this high pitched shriek and he leaps off of the stool grabbing his package. He runs about 5 feet and falls on the floor rolling around in agony.

"Duuuude....Oh man, that hurts" was all that came out of his mouth. Followed along with a few ouches and moans.

Being the diligent mother that I am I sit on the chair next to where he is writhing in pain and inquire to find out if there is any serious harm. Any bleeding? Anything missing? You know, the important questions.

I received a moaned reply that there was no bleeding but that it HURT!!!

A few moments later D says "Now I have to pee and I know that it is going to hurt." and he hunches over still holding himself and goes into the bathroom. I get a big grin on my face and try not to laugh out loud.

D returns from the bathroom. I say "Did it hurt to pee?" D replies "No, but it still hurts" while continuing to hold himself.

After confirming that there was no blood and that he is sporting just a scratch (he investigated, not me) he plops on the couch then still moaning he rolls onto the floor and says "I can't believe how much that hurts".

Still trying not to smile and being very serious I say "Now you have learned a very important lesson about manhood. Squishing your penis hurts."

"No kidding. Oh, and mom, can you call it a winkie?", D says. "Or you can call it the P-R word."

"P-R word?" I ask thinking that he means the word prick.

"You know, privates."

The discussion continued on why they are called privates and why you don't show them to everyone.

After about 5 minutes the pain had gone away but D has learned a lesson he won't soon forget. You squish your "winkie" against the corner of the counter while your stool is sliding back and scrapes it all the way down, you are going to be on the floor squealing like a little girl.

Question For The Masses

It has been really busy at work lately and I haven’t been able to really write much during the day. I need to make sure to write my blog posts at night instead of in the morning.
Today’s will be short and sweet.
I am sure that you have heard about the teenagers that gave the 2 and 5 year old kids pot and taught them how to smoke it.

Is it a good or bad thing that D had no idea what pot is?

P.S. I promise that I will write about my one and only fist fight tomorrow.

My First Blogasm

This has to be hands down one of the best blog posts that I have ever read.

The Dog's Name: Everyone Knows Your Name

Breaking Your Vagina Won't Get You Hired By The Circus

When I was a kid (around 5 or 6) my family went to the circus for the first time. I was giddy with excitement. The thought of seeing the elephants, people riding on the back of horses, and being up close to lions was almost more than I could handle.
We arrived early and found our seats. We were in the bleacher seats and were about 15 rows up. My brother and sister were climbing around playing some kind of bleacher style tag and I decided to join in. I started to chase my brother and slipped on something wet. I tried to stop my fall but was unsuccessful.
I had one foot on one side of the bleacher and one foot on the other side so I was unable to catch myself. I slipped really hard and landed on the edge of the front bleacher right in between my legs. On my vajayjay.
Oh the pain. It blasted through my body and I screamed at the top of my lungs and black spots danced before my eyes. My mother grabbed me and held me while the throbbing agony continued.
As the pain subsided I was able to catch a breath and told my mom that I was OK. It hurt like the dickens but had finally petered out to a throbbing, dull ache.
We watched the performers and I thoroughly enjoyed the circus until it was over.
When we were leaving my mom took my sister and I to the bathroom so that we didn’t have to stop on the car ride home. I went into my own stall to go but when I went it burned and there was some blood in my panties and on the paper when I wiped.
I called to my mother and she brought me into the handicapped stall and tried to see if there was anything wrong. She thought that she saw a small scratch but that was it. I pulled up my panties and we went home.
When we got home my mother had me lay down on the bed so that she could make sure that it wasn’t anything serious. I was really young so I wasn’t embarrassed at all. I spread my legs open so that she could take a look.
Sure enough, I had broken my vajayjay. I had a gash between my inner and outer labia that was deep enough to need stitches.
My mom told me that we were going to go to the emergency room and put me into different clothing. She made me wear this really itchy wool jumper dress with a turtleneck underneath.
I grabbed my Madeline book and went with my mom to the car and drove to the hospital. I received a horribly painful shot to numb the area and was told to lay on the gurney until it was completely numb.
I don’t remember much of the hospital visit other than laying there in my itchy dress with my legs spread while a male doctor was stitching me up while I read my Madeline book.
All I can say is Thank God that they had already invented dissolving stitches. Everything healed fine and although I haven’t really looked, I don’t think that there is a scar of any kind.

Hump Day Hottie

This weeks Hump Day Hottie was born on June 9, 1963 in Owensboro, KY and is of mostly Irish, German and Cherokee ancestry.
His last name translates to “idiot” in German.
He and his family lived in more than 20 different locations until settling in Florida when he was 7.
He engaged in self-harm as a child, owing to the stress of dealing with family problems and his own insecurity. He has seven or eight scars as a result of his self harm.
In a 1993 interview, he explained his self-injury by saying, "My body is a journal in a way. It's like what sailors used to do, where every tattoo meant something, a specific time in your life when you make a mark on yourself, whether you do it yourself with a knife or with a professional tattoo artist"
He was in some garage bands as a teen and achieved modest success.
After receiving encouragement from Nicholas Cage he decided to pursue acting.
The first major role for this weeks Hump Day Hottie was in the 1984 horror film A Nightmare on Elm Street playing the heroine’s boyfriend and one of Freddy’s victims.
Since then he has appeared in over 30 movies which include Platoon, Edward Scissorhands, Ed Wood, Sleepy Hollow, Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas, Benny & Joon, What’s Eating Gilbert Grape and has his status as a major star was solidified with the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy.
He has been married once and engaged to 4 other women including Winona Ryder. He currently lives with French actress Vanessa Paradis. He has two children with Vanessa named Lily-Rose & Jack.

This weeks Hump Day Hottie is ~ Johnny Depp

I Need Your Help

I am having a bit of writers block. I have a few ideas of things to write about but I can’t decide which one to do first.
I thought that I would leave it up to you to decide what you would like to read about next.
Here are a few ideas:

The best sex I have ever had
My one and only fist fight
Growing up in a Mormon home
The time I broke my vajayjay
My REAL first time (not the one I told my sister)

Of course if you have any ideas for subjects that I haven’t listed, toss em’ in the comments and I will add them to my list of writing subjects.

Test Day

D has been in Karate since October. He started out loving it, then hated it for about 2-3 months. Last month he started loving it again and decided that he was ready to test for his yellow belt.
He started out with a plain white belt and had earned the required 4 stripes. On Saturday he tested and achived his yellow belt.
They were required to do Kata's. Each belt has a unique Kata and the higher belt you are testing for requires you to go through each Kata. D had to do the white belt Kata. When he goes for his orange belt he will have to do both the white & yellow belt Kata's.
One boy there was going for his purple belt (2 degree's below black) and had to go through a bunch of Kata's and also do contact fighting with another student. It was really neat.
D was so nervous but he did a great job. You could see the relief on his face when he was finished.

Once he was done he had to sit quietly and wait for the higher level belts to finish.

Then they had to go through a round of questions from the 6 black belt committee and answer questions regarding karate in general. The higher up you were the more difficult the questions. The time had finally come for him to find out if he had achieved his next belt level. He had to go and stand in front of his Sensei (who is a formidable man) and talk to him about being promoted.

Then he took off his old belt and it was replaced with his new yellow belt. He tried to get it on himself but couldn't get it tied so another black belt assisted him with getting his belt tied.

Since D has been taking Karate his attitude and discipline has improved dramatically. He usually does what he is told with little or no complaint. I can't believe the change in him sometimes.

I was told at the beginning that it would teach him discipline, respect and accountability but I never imagined that less than 5 months later that he would almost be a different child.

D still has his moments, as does every child, but I see him maturing and growing at an unbelievable rate.

I am so proud of my boy!

Hair Raising Results

Last night was the big night. I had an appointment last night to get my hair done. Before I left I made sure to take a photo for a "before" photo. Unfortunately I hadn't really done anything to my hair but I figured that it would still be a decent representation of my natural hair.

I went to my regular stylist, Devin, at Design One
and brought in two photos from the ones that I posted. The two photos that received the most votes were #1 and #3. I showed them to Devin and we discussed that she would do her best but that it probably wouldn't look exactly like the photo.

After hearing about her experience with a perm last year and failed expectations, I decided to still take the plunge. I promised her that if I hated it, I wouldn't blame her and that if everyone else hated it I wouldn't tell them that Devin did it.

Her assistant (I totally forgot her name and feel terrible that I did) took me to the sinks and washed my hair. Then I had to sit there with a stripping agent on my hair for 5 minutes waiting for my hair to become "virgin". Basically it got all the build up and crap out of my hair.

Then I was taken to the color/perm area. There were a couple of other women that were getting their hair colored but I was the only one getting a perm.

One thing that happened that I thought was interesting was that one of the local news anchorwomen (Susan something) came in while I was there to get her highlights done. People always say that TV personalities look better or worse in person. She looked exactly the same.

Devin started to roll my hair into the perm rods. I was looking at a People magazine and talking about random people in the magazine. We discussed which celebrities we thought were beautiful and which ones we thought were train wrecks. I think that this point I told Devin that I had changed my mind and wanted to go with a Britney buzz cut. She laughed and said "I'm not doing it".

Finally the rolling was done and Devin's assitant was kind enough to take photos. I told her that I planned on putting them on my blog and she thought that was pretty cool that I has a blog.

Up to this point, most all of it was fun and games. Now the smelly part began. I had forgotten how foul a perm solution smelled. I had to sit in the noxious fumes for 20 minutes. Poor Devin is 3 months pregnant and kept having to walk away because the fumes didn't sit well with her. I totally empathized with her as I had REALLY strong aversions to some odors (garlic among them) when I was pregnant.

Then came the wet part. Devin's assitant had to rinse my head with the hottest water I could stand for five minutes. I swear I thought I was going to get blisters. I was able to tolerate it though and fortunately came away with no blisters. I did end up getting a slight chemical burn on my forehead so it was slightly red where the cotton had been but it is already gone.

Five more minutes with the setting solution, another 5 minute rinse and it was all done. They took out the rods and then I went to my final chair station and Devin cut my hair, shaped it and diffused it until it was about ½ dry. A bit of hairspray and some curl restore stuff and I was all done.

At first I was worried that it might turn out too curly.

I should never have worried though. Devin has been doing my hair for at least 4 years and knows it almost as well as I do.

I ended up spending $170 including tip for a perm, cut, style, diffuser and 1 product. I think that it was worth every penny.

P.S. You can click on the photos to get a close-up shot to see more detail.

Hump Day Hottie

This weeks Hump Day Hottie was born on March 5, 1974 in Miami, FL. to "lower-middle-class" cuban parents.

She was raised in L.A. after her parents' divorce.

As a child she was teased about her "buck teeth".

She is a spokes model for Revlon.

Ranked 27 of Maxim's 2006 Hot 100 issue.

Has worked as an interior designer and has written children's books.

Received her big break when she appreared completely nude in the critically acclaimed movie Training Day.

She became a household name when she appeared opposite of Will Smith in the Movie Hitch.

This weeks Hump Day Hottie is ~ Eva Mendes

Going Back In Time

Back in high school I sported an interesting hairstyle.

This is what I now refer to as Mall Hair. Once I got out of the perm, frizz era I swore that I would never get another perm. Straight hair was in. Sleek, beautiful styles that made me invest in not one, but two flat irons.

I loved my straight hair but it is getting boring. I have decided to take the plunge and get *gasp, clutch the pearls* another perm.

Now, this perm will be nothing like my former perms like the one you can see to the left. The new perm will be soft, loose curls. Just slightly more than a body wave.
My problem is that I haven't yet decided how curly to go. This is where I need your help. Whatever one you choose will be the one that I take with me to the salon tomorrow.

I can't get the choices numbered up with the photo so just let me know which one you like .

The style will be different than the ones in the photos. I am just trying to decide how much of a curl to get.

Stray Cat Strut

D went out to the car yesterday to get his karate uniform so that I could wash it and came back with a stray cat. I guess the neighbor asked D if he wanted it and without consulting me D brought it into the house.

Ashen and Gilly were not impressed in the least. Gilly is a very friendly cat so she was trying to check out this cat but Ashen's tail was puffed up and was growling like crazy.

I made D take the cat back out and when he returned I explained that we don't have room for another cat and that we can't afford another one, especially a stray.

I knew that my friend Dolly was looking for a new cat and although this was a stray it was well fed, had glossy fur and seemed very friendly. We called Dolly and she said that she would come out and check out the cat. We put our cats into a bedroom with a litter box and brought the stray back in.

He wandered around for a while and promptly laid down like he owned the place falling asleep in the recliner. We gave him some food and water which he chowed on and he seemed contented.

He was a black cat with green/gold eyes and we nicknamed him Donnelly after the show The Black Donnelly's.

D was enamored with this cat and thought that he was the bee's knees. Until the little shit bit him. He was petting him and then the cat jumped up on the couch and bit his face. He didn't do anything more than give him two light scratched but D was devastated.

He was crying and asking me why the cat would do that. He was nothing but nice to the cat and he felt that the cat rejected him. I put some Neosporin on the scratches and we snuggled on the couch. From then on he was scared of the cat and wanted nothing to do with him.

Dolly showed up and I told her what happened. We hypothisized on what could cause the cat to bite. Maybe D smelled too much like our cats or that he made a move that scares the cat. We don't know what experiences this cat has had so we tried to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Dolly decided to take the cat with her and I sent her on her way with some food and a makeshift litterbox.

This morning I asked Dolly how her night went and she told me that the cat bit her too. She was petting him and he was purring and all of a sudden he bit her face.

I feel bad for Donnelly. I don't know why a cat would be content and then turn on the person that is loving it.

Dolly said that she is giving the cat one more chance and if he bites her again she is taking him to the Humane Society.

I have a feeling that he will be there before the end of the week.

Techie? Not So Much

I am not the kind of person that gets all geeked out when flashy new electronics come out. I think that they are pretty cool but I am not frothing at the mouth to get the latest and the greatest.

Some examples:

I still have a 32" CRT style TV that I bought when D wasn't even a year old. He is 9. I would like to get an HDTV flat screen TV but won't even consider it until my TV is toast. My motto is, if it ain't broke, keep watching.

I have never owned an iPod or a phone that you can download music on. I rarely buy cd's and I am content listening to the radio. I have never listened to Satellite radio.

I just recently bought a digital camera. Before that I would use disposable cameras or the camera on my cell phone.

I have no desire to upgrade to Windows Vista.

I haven't purchased any kind of software other than kids' games for my P.C.

I do not own a DVR. I really do want one though.

When trying to explain a problem with any kind of electronic the word "thingy" will probably come out of my mouth.

I have only purchased 1 new computer since 1999.

If I have a problem with my computer I instantly call my friend Anne to help me. The only thing I know how to do is defrag my hard drive.

As you can see I am not very techno-savvey. I am however proud to say:

I FINALLY purchased a flat-screen LCD monitor for my P.C. It is a 19 inch wide-screen monitor by Acer. I bought it from TigerDirect.com and with the rebate and shipping it will be under $200.00

Since I don't know much about them I asked a few people and they said this was a good buy.

For those tech-savvey people here are the specs:

Specifications :
Display Type TFT LCD
Viewable Screen Size 19 inches
Pixel Pitch 0.284 x 0.284 mm
Display Area 410.4mm(H) x 256.5mm(V)
Display Colors 16.2 million
Input Video Signal VGA (15-Pin D-Sub)
Contrast Ratio 700:1
Brightness 300 cd/m²
Response Time 5 ms
Horizontal Viewing Angle 150 degrees
Vertical Viewing Angle 130 degrees
Maximum Resolution 1440 x 900
Cabinet Color Black
VESA Mounting Compliant Yes
Unit Dimensions (WxHxD) 16.2" x 16.0" x 7.1"
Unit Weight 12.32 lbs.
Power Consumption 42W

I should be receiving my new monitor in the next week or so. Until then, all I can do is gaze at it's photo on my 10 year old 17" CRT monitor.

All Things Are Not Fair & Equal

We have a lot of movie theaters around here. Four of them are less than 5 years old and two of them are less than two years old. Before we had all of these new theaters there was only one main theater in town that had a great selection. It boasted 20 screens and use the moniker "The most screens in west Michigan".

Since one of the newer theaters has opened I have gone to that one as it is the closest to where I live and only 10 minutes from where I work so for the past year or so I haven't been to the "big theater".

Last week Funny Girl and I went to see Babel. We had planned on going to see it when it first came out but never got around to it. Now that it has been nominated for an Academy Award it was playing at the "big theater" along with the other nominations.

When we walked into the theater I noticed some differences from the last time that I was there. I don't know if it was intentional or if it was in reaction to their core audience but there were more minority geared films playing and in return there was a large majority of minorities at the theater. That was fine, it doesn't make any difference to me. I assumed that it might have been a change in marketing to stem the loss of customers from the other theaters opening. Maybe they were catering to a particular niche.

I went back last night because I wanted to watch the new movie Tyler Perry's Daddy's Little Girls. They had it playing on two screens vs. the one screen at my normal theater and I was really surprised that it was playing in Theater One (the biggest screen in the theater). I guess I assumed that it would be in a smaller theater since there really wasn't a lot of advertising for the film and that there wouldn't be en0ugh people to justify the big screen.

The movie was great and even though I sat there by myself on Valentine's Day I enjoyed munching on popcorn and sipping on Diet Pepsi. I didn't feel awkward at all.

Now to the part that bothered me.

The theater was dirty. Not worried about food poisoning dirty but definitely looking ragged and not very clean. The carperts were stained and looking worn out. The theater was picked up between showings of the movies but wasn't really cleaned. There was popcorn all over the floor near the concession stand. The tile floors looked like dirt had been ground into them. Basically things that indicate a lack of emphasis on keeping the theater really clean and inviting.

On the way home I was thinking and getting a bit upset.

When did catering to minorities become synonymous with slacking in keeping a place clean and providing substandard service? It doesn't make any sense to me. They are charging $7.75 for a ticket and I paid $7.50 for a drink and popcorn so it isn't any cheaper to go there. Why wouldn't they want to make their theater as inviting as possible?

When this theater was the only game in town it was bright, clean, well maintained and inviting. Now it looks depressing and like it is fading into obscurity. There used to be an emphasis on customer service and now it seems that no one cares whether you are there or not.

My normal theater is very clean, well maintained and inviting.The thing that mad me the most upset? The "big theater" is owned by the same company that owns the movie theater that I reguarly go to.

This really, really bothers me.

Hump Day Hottie - Guest Post

Hello! This is Playtah/Funny Girl/Wendy. Rachel's internet is down, so I humbly offer you my pick for Hump Day Hottie:

This week's humpday hottie was born in Aden, London on February 7, 1962.

He found some degree of solace in comedy after the death of his mother, and drew particular comfort from the works of Monty Python, Steve Martin, Richard Pryor, and the early Benny Hill.

He began to toy with stand-up at the University of Sheffield and, after being ingloriously kicked off his accountancy degree course, he took his act to the streets. Having spent a great deal of the 1980s working as a street performer in Europe and the United States, he moved his act into the stand-up comedy venues in Britain, first appearing at The Comedy Store in London in 1987.

His style is heavily influenced by Monty Python, especially in his use of a stream-of-consciousness delivery that jumps between topics as he free-associates onstage. He does not generally work from a script. Instead he interrupts himself with new joke ideas, the characters he portrays turn into other characters, and he leaps from historical analysis to musings about household appliances. This often results in brief pauses in the routine which he fills with 'so,' 'yeah,' and other verbal ticks that have become his trademarks.

In a 2005 poll to find The Comedian's Comedian, he was voted amongst the top 20 greatest comedy acts ever by fellow comedians and comedy insiders.

He was number 75 in Comedy Central's 100 Greatest Stand-ups of All Time.

During the 1999 television special "It's... the Monty Python Story", which he hosted, John Cleese said he was the "Lost Python".

He describes himself as an "executive" or "action" transvestite and as 'a male tomboy', rather than a "weirdo" transvestite (he uses J. Edgar Hoover as an example of the latter). He regularly cross-dresses both on and off stage and makes it clear that cross-dressing is, for him, not a sexual thing – he simply enjoys wearing make-up and clothing which is traditionally perceived in the West as female-only. He remarks in one of his shows, "Women wear what they want and so do I."















This week's Hump Day Hottie is: Eddie Izzard.

What's In A Name?

This morning in the car D and I were talking about names. I asked him if he was to have a baby brother or sister right now, what would he want to name them. (I am NOT pregnant)

He said if it was a girl he would name her Kaitlynn and if it was a boy he started out with Anthony but then changed it to Samuel.

It got me thinking about what names I had picked out when I was younger.

I don't know if boys do this, but many women start to name their offspring even before becoming sexually active and many before puberty hits. Maybe it is our obsession with baby dolls, playing house and barbies. We name our baby dolls and it continues from there.

As a child I had some names picked out that I thought were glamorous and high class. I figured that a girl with the name Tiffany or Kimberly would have all the options in the world compared to a girl named Hildegaard or Bertha.

When I was 14 I met a boy and had an instant huge crush. I only saw him the one time but for the next 5 years if I would have had a boy I was convinced that his name was going to be Dane Leander.

At 23 I became pregnant and was again obsessed with baby names. I would constantly go online and look for names and bought 3 or 4 baby naming books. Before D was born I had come up with the name Darius for a boy. His dad hated it and I told him that it didn't matter, that he wasn't there so he didn't have say in the name. I ended up not using that name and decided on another name that starts with a D but rhymes with Kevin.

As I look back now I had the most god-awful name picked out for a girl. I know that God was looking down on me when he decided that I was going to have a boy because no girl should go through life named Shanelle Antonia.

To this day I still have a few names picked out for children in case I ever have any more. Chances are that none of my kids will be named that but if I ended up pregnant and had a girl tomorrow her name would be Rhiannon. A boy would be named Donovan.

A Memory That Make's Me Laugh

I am training somone today, tomorrow and Wednesday. My post today will be short and sweet. Just a quick story and a question.

When I was in elementary school they had a contest at the local radio station. If you heard them play a Michael Jackson song you would call in. The first caller who said "Give me my Michael Jackson picture disc won a Jackson's Victory Tour picture disc (basically a record with their images on them kinda like a CD looks today).
Every day when I got home from school I would turn on the radio then call in and request a Michael Jackson song.
One day I decided to call when I walked in the door. The phone rang and the deejay answered. I said "Can you play a Michael Jackson song?"
He replied "We are playing one right now!"
I felt a bit stupid but ran and turned on the radio and rocked out the Thriller.
I finally won a picture disc and stupidly gave it to my best friend Sheila for her birthday. She was an even bigger fan of MJ than I was. The first time I saw the Thriller video was at her birthday party.
Even though MJ has turned into a serious freak I still love his older music. Anything from the Jackson 5, The Jacksons, Off The Wall, Thriller and Bad. The most recent stuff is utter crap so I don't buy them anymore.
I still have fond memories of crushing on a young MJ wearing a soft lemon yellow sweater from his Thriller album and wishing that I was the girl that he was singing about with Paul McCartney.


What childhood memory never fails to make you laugh?

Single Parenthood. Blessing or Curse?

As many of you know I am a single parent. It is something that invariably defines part of who I am. When people find out that I am a single parent I hear "I don't know how you do it." I don't know if it is that I don't usually look haggard and tired or that they expect a single parent to not have a life of their own.

I don't use single parenthood as an excuse for anything other than sick days at work. If I am invited to something and it isn't a time when D is going to be at his dad's house, I decline. I try and make plans with friends on days when D isn't home. He goes to his dads every Wednesday and every other weekend.

The most difficult thing to deal with isn't trying to do it all on my own. That is something that I adjusted to quickly. It is amazing how easy things become when you don't have any other choice. I don't really think about it. I just do it because if I don't, no one else will.

For me, the most difficult thing to deal with is fear. I am so afraid that I will screw up D and he won't become the kind of man that I desperately want him to become. I want him to be an honorable man.

I am afraid that something will happen to me and that I will either die or that I won't be able to take care of him and that he will have to go live with his dad and evil step-monster.

I am afraid that I am not everything that he needs. There are times when I am so tired from working all day and doing housework that I don't really have the energy or desire to do anything with him. If D wants to play a game and I brush him off because I am tired or have other things to do I feel wracked with guilt and then horrible thoughts start to filter in. What if something happened to D and the day before I brushed him off when he wanted to play a game of Cadoo? Could I ever forgive myself? I don't know.

Being a single parent isn't a cop out to be a sub par friend, employee, co-worker, parent or anything else that you are. It should be a source of strength and confidence that if you can do the most difficult job of parenthood alone there isn't anything that you can't achieve.

There are times when I let the fact that I care for my son alone get in the way of things that I know that I should do. I have been planning to go to college and get my degree for years but just never seem to be able to give up the time with my son. I know that it is an excuse for me to not get motivated and just do what I need to do. There are so many options out there that no excuse that I can come up with will hold any water anymore. It is hindering my professional life.

There are some positive aspects of single parenthood. I don't have to confer with anyone else on how to discipline my child, where he can go and what he is allowed to do. I am judge, jury and groundation officer. I am always in the loop on what is going on with him. I am the go to person for school and anywhere else that he goes.

I do the best I can with what I have and the life that I have chosen. Sometimes I wish that there was someone to share the load that I have but until that happens, I will happily continue to do it myself.

The Worst Job I Ever Had

I was listening to the radio this morning and people were calling in regaling them with stories about the worst job that they ever had.
Since I am not one to look a gift horse in the mouth I figured that I would blog about it. For those of you who don't know, most of my posts are on the fly. I rarely write something prior to the day that I post it. I usually get my inspiration from conversations at work or maybe I read something on someone elses blog that gets my mind working about something in my own life so I blog about that.

Anyway...back to the subject.

When I was 18 and a senior in high school I needed to find a job and I found one in the want ads and went to check it out. It was in a strip of small offices in a slightly seedy part of town.
I walk in the door to apply and am surrounded by a cloud of smoke and hear a hacking cough coming from an office to the right of the lobby.
Calling out a greeting I see this woman come out of the office with blue tinged hair. She could have been anywhere from 50 - 80 years old. She was wrinkled and her face had a gray cast to it. I wouldn't have been surprised if she keeled over dead on the spot.
She told me that I would be working to raise funds for disabled children to be able to go on fun trips. Basically I was a telemarketer.
I have a feeling that this was a scam and I will tell you why.

I never saw one disabled child or a photo of one.
Our leads would come from tearing pages out of the phone booth.
I never saw any kind of license or plaque to show that we were a non-profit agency.
We were not taxed on our income.

I worked there for 3 or 4 months until one day we all arrived and the office was locked up. We waited 20 minutes then wrote a note, stuck it to the door and left. I guess that 10 minutes after that someone showed up to unlock the door.
They called me and told me that I needed to get back there NOW to work or I was fired. This was not the first time that I was threatened with being fired. It was nearly an every day occurence. I was sick of it so I quit on the spot.
When I went to go pick up my last paycheck I was not allowed to walk into the office. She handed me my check and slammed the door in my face.
When you ask about the worst job that people have had, many will tell you about the one that was the most disgusting. This job might not have had me cleaning out grease catchers or sewer pipes, but it made me feel dirty and the humiliation that was piled on us daily was hard to take. And I was ashamed to tell people what I did for a job. Everyone hates a telemarketer almost as much as they hate bill collectors.

What was your worst job ever?

Hump Day Hottie ~ Double Trouble

These two characters were based off of two University of Maryland professors who told their creator that he would never get anywhere in life.

They are both named after posh New York City Hotels.

They are brother-in-law's. One is married to the other's sister Astoria.

They are a pair of grumpy old men who would heckle performers on stage from their balcony seats.

They would return every week, despite constantly complaning about the show and how terrible the acts were.

Their first names are rumored to be Jason & Jon.

They have appeared in comic books, movies and animated series. One animated show was Family Guy where they watch Lost with Peter and Lois from a baclony.

They capitalized on their fame and started appearing in online shorts for Movies.com.

Their most famous tagline is included with the intro song to the show that they are most famous for and is as follows:



- Why do we always come here?
- I guess we'll never know
- It's like a kind of torture...
- (in unison) ...to have to watch this show!

This weeks Hump Day Hottie's are ~ Waldorf and Statler from The Muppet Show!

Not The Brightest Crayon In The Box

Today I got up early because the roads are still pretty terrible from the storm last weekend. It hasn't gotten above single digits so the salt doesn't melt anything. That, coupled with a slight amount of melting due to the sun blessed us with roads that were covered in a sheet of ice.

I got out of the house 30 minutes early hoping that it would be enough time for me to make it to work on time. My average drive is 45 minutes so even if were were quite a bit slower I should have gotten there on time.

About 4 miles from my house I am on the freeway and all of a sudden there is a huge slow down. I am just past the off ramp for the next exit so I could see the people behind me exit but I was too far past it to back up.

I wait and I wait. I call my supervisor and leave a message letting her know that I am stuck in traffic. I move up about 20 feet and stop again. After about 30 minutes it starts to move at a 2-4 mph pace for another 15 minutes. Then I get past the accident that is blocking the roadway.

I drop D off at his grandparents house since he doesn't have school again (2nd snow day in a row) and I drive to work. By the time that I arrive I am 45 minutes late.

I log into my phone and notice that I have a message. I listen to the message and my supervisor informs me that she tried to call me back but that she couldn't reach me (I changed my cell# back in July). She wanted to let me know that I wasn't scheduled to work today because I am working on Saturday.

Nice.

I thought that I had Friday off and hadn't even checked the schedule because if I work on a Saturday I am supposed to have the previous Friday off.

Now I am back home after being gone for 3 hours dealing with traffic and icy roads when I could have stayed snuggled in bed all morning.

I am officially an idiot.

Confession Is Good For Ending Procrastination ~ Hopefully!

I wasn't sure what I wanted to write about today so I decided that I would confess something that I am really embarrassed about.

It is February 5th and I still have not taken down my Christmas tree. I have been looking at it for the past 3 weeks thinking to myself, I really need to take my tree down.

The lights have started coming off the bottom of the tree and pooling at the bottom and my cats have batted off the bottom layer of ornaments so they are randomly scattered under my tree. My tree skirt is completely covered in cat hair as the cats have decided that underneath the tree is the perfect place to snooze and I am considering chucking it all together.

My tree is beautiful and has lots of pretty ornaments on it. But enough is enough. I need to just drag out the boxes and get it all taken down and put away.

Is there anything you want to confess? I don't want to be the only one.

I Would Rather Have A Dairy Queen Blizzard

We are under a blizzard warning all day today. I took the photos from my bedroom window so that you could see what we are in for today.
The houses that you can barely see are right across the street from my house less than 200 feet away.



This is my car. It doesn't look too bad but the wind is blowing about 30-40 miles per hour so it has blown most of it off. D was supposed to go to his grandma's house today but the freeways are closed due to near zero visability.

This is where my sidewalk is supposed to be. You can see the big drift of snow from the wind blowing so hard. It looks like big frozen waves.

This is my shed. You can see the snow drifted over the door. It is about 2 or 3 feet up.

This is the snow on my roof that is hanging about 3 feet over the roof line. My outside lights are cute though, huh?

Breakin' The Law

Laws govern our lives. We are told where we can and cannot go, what we are and are not allowed to do. Some laws are put in place for very good reasons. They allows us to live in a safer environment than if we lived in an anarchist type society.

We may assume that we are all law abiding citizens, but even the most morally upright person has broken a law.

I consider myself to be a relatively moral person. I typically follow the law but there are times when I have done something knowing that I was breaking the law.

Here are a few things that I have done within the past 5 years that are illegal:

I speed just about every day.

I failed to register my car for a month and drove with expired tabs.

I slid on ice and hit another vehicle.

I have given alcohol to someone under the age of 21.

I have claimed to be a college student to get discounted movie tickets (stealing).

I jaywalk ~ all the time.

I stole someone's mail and threw it away. It was a Christmas Card ~ I know ~ BAD!

I lied to a police officer when they asked me if I knew how fast I was going when I got pulled over. I knew how fast I was going, I just played dumb.

I drove home once when I might have had just a bit too much to drink. I felt ok but when I was driving I realized that I was slightly buzzed.

Do you knowingly break laws? Do you break them on purpose because you think that they are stupid? What kind of laws do you break?

Photograph A Food Label Day

Tara from E.clec.tic Spaghetti has a theme every day on her blog. Since I don't have much to write about I thought that I would post a photo of my favorite beverage. I blogged about my addiction to Diet Pepsi here.





What food or beverage item are you addicted to?

Phone Call From The Front Line

Sunday morning I was lollygagging in bed, not wanting to get out of the warm cocoon that I was ensconced in. I had woken earlier and then was drifting off again when my phone rang.
D was at his dad's over the weekend and even though he is supposed to stay until Monday morning he is always ready to come home on Sunday so I was expecting his call.
I answer the phone expecting a "Hi Momma" and instead I heard "Hi Sweetheart". I recognized the voice immediately and the first word out of my mouth was "James".
Apparently his ears had been burning from my previous post as I hadn't heard from him since August, right before he left for Iraq.
When I met James he was in the Army. I was 21 and he was 25. We were "together" off and on for 2 years before he went to Korea. We kept in touch while he was in Korea and then he was stationed in Colorado.
Before he went to Colorado we had a falling out and I lost contact with him for about 9 months. During that time our lives took different paths. He got married and I gor pregnant with D. We reconnected when I was 3 or 4 months pregnant and talked on the phone a few times.
The feelings were still there between us but due to circumstances we kept things on the friend level and would only talk occasionally on the phone.
Since that time he has had a child, I moved to Michigan and his marriage has fallen apart. He remains married for his child (his wife has told him point blank that if he leaves her that she is taking his daughter to Mexico and that he will never see her again) but according to him it is emotionally dead.
I have only seen him one time since 1997. It was very bittersweet as all the feelings that I still felt for him were only made stronger but I knew that nothing could come of them.
I still love James and I know that he still loves me.
James is now in the Army Reserves and is currently stationed in Camp Anaconda, Iraq which is inside the Sunni Triangle (where 80% of the attacks occur). His job has something to do with transportation and he did tell me that he does go off base occasionally but it isn't an every day occurence.
I asked how things were over there and he said "Sweetheart, this is the worst I have ever seen in my life." He has been to Korea, Germany, all over the United States and was in the first Gulf War so he is aware of how bad the situation really is.
We talked for about 40 minutes and we laughed and I got teary eyed a couple of times, especially when I told him that I have been checking the casualty lists praying that he wasn't on there. I asked him how his daughter is and he said that she is doing OK. He occasionally will get packets from her with a letter and schoolwork but he doesn't receive anything else.
I asked him if there was anything that he needed and all he asked for was some fishing magazines. I think that I can handle that.
I had to discuss a few difficult things with him. One being that if something did happen to him that I would be informed. Because I am not related to him, no one would think to let me know.
It was a good conversation. I tried to keep it light and cheerful because I could hear in his voice that he was exhausted and needed a distraction. He says that he works 12 hours a day, every day.
I don't know why I still love James, but I do. I wish that I didn't. I wish that I could just get over him and not think about him. It has gotten better with time. I no longer think about him constantly and I don't get upset when he calls. I used to get really upset because I felt like he was stringing me along and I would be angry that he wouldn't allow me to move on with my life and keep him in the past.
James always says that I won't ever get rid of him. That he is always going to be around. That in our old age we will sit on the front porch together and talk about everything that has happened in our lives. I used to get mad when he would say this because legally he is still married even if in his heart the marriage is over. Now, I am looking forward to it. Even if it is just as friends.