Monday, October 02, 2006

"Hi. My Name Is Rachel And I Am An Addict"

I have an addiction. Yes, I admit it. I am completely and utterly addicted to a substance that many would consider to be bad for you. Something that can actually be construed as a poison. In 1995 the FDA did a study of this substance and the following side effects were listed as occurring to at least 1% of respondents.

Change in mood
Vomiting & Nausea
Abdominal Pains & Cramps
Change in vision
Seizures & Convulsions
Memory Loss
Fatigue, Weakness
Sleep problems
Change in heart rate
Numbness, Tingling
Change in activity level
Oral Sensory changes
Change in menstrual pattern

What is this horrible addiction? What is so bad for me that I know that I shouldn’t consume it but that I love so much that I do anyway?
My addiction is Diet Pepsi. I am so addicted that if I have to go more than one day without my Diet Pepsi I am like a heroin junkie trying to find a fix. I will get a massive headache and be more irritable than a trainer dealing with a flatulent elephant.
I shop all of the ads to try and find the best deal for Diet Pepsi. Unless it is an emergency I won’t spend more than $2.99 for a 12 pack. Oddly enough, K-Mart usually has the best price.
Don’t give me Coke or *gasp* Diet Coke (uber nasty). I refuse to consume generic diet cola. I would rather drink water, juice or another flavored soda. I refuse to consume alternative flavors of Diet Pepsi. Leave out the vanilla, cherry, lime or horror of all horrors the new Jazz flavor. I am either a purist or a snob. Take your pick.
While other people have group meetings for addiction to porn, gambling, alcohol and drugs there aren’t really any alternatives for quitting drinking aspartame except to stop cold turkey.
Until it is outlawed as an illegal substance I will happily continue with my addiction.


reformattingmybrain said...

Great post - I'm LMAO.... a while back on my blog I posted a pic of a stack of papers from work I had gotten thru and what I had left and the Dr. Pepper it took me to get thru all that. I have a terrible problem with Dr. Pepper. My brother said I need to post about my terrible Dr. Pepper problem. Just didn't get around to it. So I'm loving your post today! :-)

Change in menstrual pattern..... hmmmm I wonder if I drink enough of this if it'll just disappear??? Worth trying. :-) ha

AND Change in mood?! I wonder if that's a better mood or a worse mood? hmmmmm Cuz I sure seem to be a lot happier if I'm pumped full of caffiene!

Tara said...

Oye. Aspartame...Yeah, I won't even go into the side effects I get from that. I stopped drinking Caffeine Free Diet Coke altogether, and now I seem to be stuck on Caffeine Free (but not diet) Ginger Ale. I love that stuff and it's easier on my stomach.

minijonb said...

junkie. is there a Diet Pepsi patch or gum you could use?


i would suggest substituting water or Propel and see how it goes, but i know it's not that easy. enjoy your addiction.

funny girl said...

I may have to do an intervention. I thought you were doing ok with your addiction until I found out you ruined all your spoons trying to free base DP. :)

Rachel said...

Reformat ~ Dr. Pepper. My son D loves it. I can't stand it. My sister is completely addicted to Mt. Dew.
I am happier with caffiene too.

Tara ~ I have a friend who gets migraines and nausea from aspartame. I am sure that she can relate.

MJB~ I am a junkie. But at least I get money back from my recycling. I save them up for a long time. I took back three trash bags and got $35.00. That 10¢ deposit comes in handy before payday.

FG~ You weren't supposed to tell anyone about that!!!! lol

l.b. said...

I would love to become addicted to diet anything. I'm just not feeling the artificial sweetners, although I should.
My addiction is caffiene and I will take it in soda (sugary), but prefer a nice cuppa coffee. Strong and black. Or well, sometimes all sweet and creamy, like a dessert....

Freckle Face Girl said...

I must admit that diet Pepsi tastes better than diet coke, but that is what I drink every morning when I get to work. Clearly because they stock the fridge with it & it is free. When I get to work, I am too tired to be picky. :)