Friday, June 29, 2007
I ran through there to get one for my son because he was really hungry but we weren't going home any time soon. I at least convinced him to get apple dippers insead of fries...one thing at a time, right?
Anyway...The bag came into my car and I was fine. Then he unwrapped the sucker and the aroma felt like an airbag slamming into my face. It was so strong and tantalizing that I literally started to salivate.
I had to roll down the window on a 90 degree muggy day to get the smell out of my car so that I didn't rip it out of his hand and either stuff it into my craw or toss it out the window. Realizing that it wasn't working, I remembered that satisfying your sense of smell is nearly as good and eating so I started taking deep breaths through my nose, filling my olfactory senses with the heavenly smell.
I didn't even ask for a bite. I did give it some covetous looks though.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
So, last week I went to weigh in and was SOOOOO disappointed because I hadn't lost anything. Zero, Nothing, Nada. I was pretty upset because I did really well and stuck to the plan. The few mistakes that I made counting points or items I just added to my Weekly Point count.
This week I went in and weighed in and was so shocked. I lost 7.5 pounds. I am absolutely ecstatic. I would have been thrilled with 3 or 4 pounds, but 7.5 is incredible.
I have really cut down the diet soda to 1 or 2 per day instead of 6-8 per day. Even though they have no calories, the lack of water really hurt. Now I drink a ton of water and actually don't have much of a taste for soda.
I am sleeping better and last weekend woke up and got out of bed at 8:30 both days. Usually I would wake up 3 or 4 times throughout the night, get up around 11 or so and then take a nap in the afternoon. I haven't taken a nap since I started either.
It is amazing how much better I feel since I am not stuffing fast food into my craw on a near daily basis. I haven't had a cheeseburger since I started and I haven't missed it yet.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
He started his desire to become a musician at age 13.
The first concert he attended was Genesis on its Invisible Touch Tour.
He dropped out of high school and left his home as a teenager to pursue his goal of becoming a career musician. He later received a GED.
He is 5ft 9 in tall, has blue eyes and brown hair.
His favorite authors are Kurt Vonnegut and Tom Robbins.
His favorite TV shows are 24, Arrested Development & American Idol and he actually wrote a song for Idol winner Taylor Hicks’ album.
He earned 3 Grammy awards for co-writing and singing on the Carlos Santana triple-platinum album Supernatural in 1999.
He married Marisol Maldonado in 1999 and has a son named Maison from a former relationship with Kerry Williams.
He is formerly of the band Tabitha’s Secret but is currently pursuing solo projects, but is still the lead singer for the band Matchbox 20.
This weeks Hump Day Hottie is ~ Rob Thomas
Monday, June 25, 2007
I would like to apologize to the people that come and read my blog that I haven't been reciprocating lately. I haven't been at my computer much at home and have been actually working. Crazy huh?
Yesterday I was over at my friend Rico's house for Sunday dinner and we started talking about sex. Always a fun topic to discuss. We were talking about everything from G-spots to spanking and asphyxiation during the act. Then we were talking about what it was like to have sex after having a child. I told them that after I had Devon that it felt like everything had "shifted a bit" and that it was physically painful to have intercourse. It probably didn't help that Devon's dad is well endowed either.
After the entire conversation that we had last night I had the strangest dreams. I dreamt that Devon's dad had separated from his wife and came over a few times and was trying to have sex with me. I remember one part vividly where I was in the walk in closet getting something and he grabbed me and pushed me against the wall and started kissing me. I also remember kissing him back.
For all of the negative things that I can say about Devon's dad, I can't say that he was bad in bed. He was really, really good. Well, it was until after I had Devon and it hurt to have sex. Then it went downhill fast. We would fight about having sex and I just don't think that he really understood.
I woke up this morning thinking how strange it was to have erotic dreams about someone that I can't seem to get along with anymore. I know that most of the reason that I can't get along with Devon's dad anymore is due to his wife, but it was still a strangely unsettling dream.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Prior to deciding on a career as a performer, he was a mail carrier. He quit because he was “very, very bad at it”.
He also planned to go to law school but when he was asked on his entry form why he wanted to become a lawyer, he was unable to write a response.
He performed with Chicago troupe The Second City in 1991, where Stephen Colbert was his understudy for a time.
That same year he landed his first film role in Curly Sue.
In 1995 he married Nancy Walls, whom he met when she was a student in an improv class he was teaching. They have two children, Elizabeth & John.
In 1996, he was a cast member of the briefly aired The Dana Carvey Show. Along with cast member Colbert, he provided the voice of Gary, half of “The Ambiguously Gay Duo.” The animated short has since moved to SNL.
In 1999 he became a correspondent on The Daily Show and remained a regular on the show until 2004.
Two supporting roles in the films Bruce Almighty and Anchorman: The Legend of Run Burgundy helped get the attention of audiences.
In the spring of 2005, he began playing the lead role of Michael Scott on NBC’s remake of the British sitcom The Office. Although the series premiered to mediocre ratings, NBC renewed it for a second season due to the anticipated success of his upcoming movie The 40-Year Old Virgin.
He was hurled to stardom and has won a Golden Globe, Writers Guild Award, Screen Actors Guild Award and an MTV Movie Award.
His newest movie, Evan Almighty, is set for release on June 22, 2007.
This weeks Hump Day Hottie is ~ Steve Carrell
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
I don't know why, but this gave me the heeby jeebies. I know that many women breast feed and I breast fed Devon, but who wants to advertise that to the entire world?
To me, when I breast fed Devon it was a private, almost sacred thing that I was doing. It was an incredibly intimate, bonding experience that I wouldn't want to flout to the world.
I don't mean that you should be ashamed that you are breast feeding, but lets be honest. If you have that sticker on your car the first thing that people are going to do when you get out of your car is check out your boobs.
Have you ever seen a bumper sticker or sign that made you feel uncomfortable?
Monday, June 18, 2007
That was me yesterday.
Nearly every Sunday Devon and I go over to my friends Rico & Don's house for Sunday dinner. There are normally about 15 - 20 people there and it is a very good time. The food ranges from burgers on the grill to "Soul Food Sunday" a smorgasbord of fried chicken, greens, mac & cheese and just about every kind of Italian food that you can think of.
We had never had any kind of Mexican food and I am really good at cooking that so I offered to cook yesterday. Rico was cool with it, albeit a bit unsure of what to do with himself.
I arrived at noon yesterday and put 4 pounds of chicken in the crock pot to simmer and then I didn't have anything else to do for another 2 hours so Rico and I sat and chatted and I read a book for a while when he had to run some errands.
From 2ish until 6:30 I was in the kitchen pretty much nonstop. I made tacos, a beef enchilada casserole, chicken enchiladas, giant taquitos and Spanish rice. I chopped lettuce, onions, tomatoes, olives, jalapenos and prepared the flour tortillas (I heat them in a pan with Pam spray and they taste REALLY good and don't break as easily).
Most of the time everyone was out on the screen porch and I felt like I was a bit separated from everyone else so I started to sing. I sang some songs in Latin that I remembered from High School and also some negro spirituals that I knew. It was actually very relaxing to be singing while chopping tomatoes.
Although their house is huge, it was quite hot in the kitchen as they haven't yet had their central air installed and it was in the 80's outside. I took off my shoes and walked around barefoot on the tile floor to keep from getting overheated.
Dinner was ready around 6:30 and by the time everything was on the table I was so tired and overheated that I wasn't even hungry so I went outside and chatted with people while they were eating their first plate of food. Everything got rave reviews even though I personally wasn't very happy with how the rice turned out.
After about 20 minutes my appetite came back and I got a taco and 2 giant taquitos with some salsa and sour cream. Everything tasted really good and it was a total of 9.5 WW points so I had plenty left over afterwards. I splurged and had a piña colada for an extra 7 points. Man it tasted good.
Then I got the biggest surprise of the day. Funny Girl has OCD and doesn't like to touch certain things. She decided to surprise me and came out onto the screen porch with a wash cloth and some lotion and then proceeded to give me a foot massage. It was HEAVEN. After walking around barefoot on tile for hours my dogs were barkin' and the fact that she touched my feet with her OCD issues was really touching to me. So I sat there in my chair, sipping on a piña colada getting my feet massaged. Now before you start to wonder about Funny Girl and I, we are best friends and nothing more. I am a massage whore and if someone wants to rub my feet I am not going to quibble.
I stayed until 11:30 and then headed home. I still had 9 points that I was supposed to use for the day so I stopped at McD's and got an ice cream cone for 7 points and enjoyed it on the rest of the drive home.
The only bad point of the entire day other than the heat was when I was backing out of the driveway and hit a car. I didn't do any damage to their car but mine has a nice scratch on the bumper that will have to be painted. It could have been worse so I am not going to complain.
Friday, June 15, 2007
On Wednesday I joined Weight Watchers along with my friends Aria and Funny Girl. I have spent the past two days figuring out the amount of points each food that I enjoy has and adjusting my menu accordingly.
It is really surprising. I can eat a bunch and hopefully still lose weight. I guess it just depends on what I shovel into my mouth. No more pints of Hagen Daaz but a serving is OK.
Since this is about integrity and being honest about where you are and where you want to be, I am going to do something that I have never done before. I am going to tell you all what my starting weight is.
Before I tell you this I want to say that every time I tell someone my weight, they do not believe me. I guess that my flab is pretty compact and so it doesn't look like I weigh as much as I do.
I currently wear a size 22/24 and weigh 287.5 pounds. My target weight is 124.1 pound. This really seems like a daunting task so I am breaking it down into 10% increments. That means that my current goal is to lose 29 pounds. (man that was hard to admit)
This is NOT going to become a weight loss blog but I will post every week what my weight loss was so that you all can keep track along with me.
It is really scarey for me to be doing this as I will not only be losing flab, but I will be shedding my "security blanket" a pound at a time. There might be a few freak outs and I will make sure to let you know about them.
I am so glad that Funny Girl and Aria are in this with me because I don't know if I would be able to do it on my own.
This is a photo of me from last year. It was the only one I had on my work P.C. that I could post that showed more than my shoulders and above. This is my friend Anne that is with me and this was when Funny Girl told us to look at the flash to take the photo and then pulled her shirt up. Yeah. We are dorks.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
He dropped out of high school during his senior year.
He was an adept juggler, tying second for a national juggling competition.
He was discovered by an agent and invited to audition for a role in the state production of Torch Song Trilogy and he spent the following four months touring with the company in San Francisco. He continued appearing on stage until his early 20's.
His first major film role was at age 21 in the teen comedy Can't Buy Me Love in 1987. He had the lead role in the film Loverboy and Happy Together. Although the teen comedy and romance roles led him to be somewhat typecast for a time he was able to avoid playing the same character as his career progressed.
From 1987 to 1994, he was married to actress Rocky Parker. It made a huge splash in the media as he was only 21, while Parker was 48.
During the 1990's he faded somewhat to obscurity. He was cast several times in pilots that were not picked up. His first major television role was a recurring role as Will's closeted sportscaster boyfriend on Will & Grace.
In 1999 he married his second wife, Jillian Fink and has three children, Talula Fyfe, and twins Darby and Sullivan.
His first high-profile role after over a decade was as one of the suitors for Reese Witherspoon in Sweet Home Alabama.
He enjoys race car driving in his spare time and is currently the co-owner of Indycar Series team Vision Racing. He will be driving the pace car for the 2007 Indianapolis 500.
You can currently see this weeks HDH in his current role as Dr. Derek Shepherd (Dr. McDreamy) in the drama Grey's Anatomy.
This weeks Hump Day Hottie is ~ Patrick Dempsey
Monday, June 11, 2007
We found a family campground that was only 10 minutes from my house and went there with two carloads full of camping gear.
My friend Rico decided to come with us the first night so it was just me, Funny Girl, Rico, Devon and his friend Logan. We arrived quite late as we hadn't planned to do the "real" camping thing.Rico and Funny Girl pitched the tents while I put together the gas grill that Rico had brought.
The kids went to the park and played until it was time to come back to the campsite. We were in a "primitive" campsite that had no water, electric or sewer but we were right across the road from the office and bathrooms so we had easy access to everything that we needed.
The first day I got up at 7:30 with the kids and by 9:00 everyone was up and about. Because we had gotten a late start we hadn't really organized the campsite the night before so we did that and then Funny Girl and I drove back to my house to pick up the boy's bikes so that they could ride around the campground. I had also forgotten ketchup and mustard so we grabbed those as well.
The campground had a swimming pool so we took the boys swimming and took a bit of a dip ourselves.
More people showed up the next afternoon and that night we had about nine or ten adults there just having a great time and sitting around the campfire talking and having a few drinks.
I fell out around 1:30 and within an hour everyone else but two people were in bed. Around 4:30 Funny Girl was not feeling good so she decided to head home.
I got up the next morning and came out of my tent and it looked like a bomb had exploded all over our campsite. Cups, cans and bottles everywhere. I spend the next 30 minutes just picking up the stuff that was strewn all over and then people started to stumble out of their beds.
We started to break down the site and make breakfast. The kids went swimming one more time and we left around 1:00 that afternoon.
We had a great time but Devon and I were so tired and Devon was NOT feeling good this morning so we both stayed home.
Friday, June 08, 2007
I went to the grocery store and spend over $100 on the things that I was assigned to bring. Plates, bowls, spoons, knives, forks, hot dogs, buns, and soda for 10-15 people. I also purchased a few additional things for snacks for the boys.
I got home last night and called my friend Rico to let him know that I got everything and he told me that there was a change of plans.
Rico's partner Donnie isn't feeling well, so instead of going camping we are going to go to the lake on Sunday.
I was NOT happy. I explained to Rico that I just spent over $100 on the stuff that he told me to get and we decided that instead of nixing the camping all together that we are going to rough it in his front yard.
Rico lives in a huge house with a very sizeable front yard. We are going to pitch tents, use a barbeque grill for a fire pit (not allowed to have bonfires or even those regular fire pits where he lives) and sleep in the out of doors. And one night we will go to a friends house and have a real bonfire.
He lives right across the street from a nature trail so the boys are bringing their bikes and will go riding around there and also in the 3 street cul-de-sac that Rico lives in.
We are still going to go to the lake on Sunday and take out his uncles pontoon boat so that should be a lot of fun other than the fact that I can't expose my back to sun because of the tattoo so I will have to remain covered up. I can't go swimming either but I can wear a t-shirt and get my legs wet.
Even though it isn't what we had planned, I think that this is going to be just as much fun. At least this way I get to take a shower and use indoor plumbing.
Thursday, June 07, 2007
If you haven't been a long time reader, go and read here and here before you continue...
Go ahead. I'll wait.
Are you back now? Great.
Now that you are aware of some of my history in regards to my weight and also being raped at a young age I hope that this next part makes more sense.
I realized that part of me wants to stay fat because it makes me feel safer. Not safe, but safer.
If I am fat, the risk of me being attacked or raped is significantly lower. I don't have to worry about being accosted by someone and not being left alone if I want to. Because I will be honest, if I was skinny, I would be pretty hot.
How fucked up is it that I am willing to live half a life at twice the size out of fear? I thought that I had worked through all of the issues that my being raped had heaped onto my psyche. I thought that it didn't really affect me that much anymore and now I realize that the fear has locked me into my own prison of flab and inactivity.
Instead of working through my issues, I ate through them and continue to do so. Mentally I want to lose weight. Physically I want to lose weight. Emotions & fear keep me going to the freezer and getting my favorite Haagen Daaz Carmel Cone ice cream and eating the entire pint in one sitting.
I honestly don't know how to fix this and I am reeling from this realization. Now what the hell do I do?
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
After finished school he pumped petrol at Shell, Wahroonga and worked as a part-time clown for children's parties while studying at the University of Technology, Sydney. He graduated in 1989 with a BA in communications, having majored in journalism.
He married Deborra-Lee Furness in 1996 and after two miscarriages they adopted two children, Oscar ,7 and Ava, 2.
He knows how to juggle 5 balls in the air at the same time.
He does not smoke in real life and hates having to do so in films.
He sang the Australian National Anthem in from of 100,000 people at the Melbourne Cricket ground in 1998 and at the 1999 NRL Grand Final in front of 108,000 people.
His early film work includes Erskinville Kings and Paperback Hero. He also appeared in movies such as Kate & Leopold, Van Helsing & The Prestige.
His most famous role that launched him to stardom in the United States wasn't originally his role. It was originally to be Dougray Scotts role but after Scott was held up shooting scenes for Mission Impossible II, this weeks Hump Day Hottie got the role. Even his wife told him not to take the role and later she commented that she was glad that he ignored her.
As he stands nearly a foot taller than his character the film makers were frequently forced to shoot him at unusual angles or only from the waist up to make him appear shorter than he actually was. He was also required to add a great deal of muscle for the role and at the end of his training could bench press 315 lbs. and leg press 1000 lbs.
He became an instant star for his role as Wolverine in the movie X-Men and reprised the role for X2: X-Men United and 2006's X-Men: The Last Stand.
He is producing a Wolverine spin-off, to be released sometime in 2008.
This weeks Hump Day Hottie is ~ Hugh Jackman
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
My dad left when I was 10 years old. It was pretty difficult as my dad was the primary bread winner and my mom only worked part time for extra spending money. He left our house and moved back into his parents house while our roof was half off being replaced. The fact that he and some friends were doing it and all just up and quit was another blow to my mom.
So, here we were, mom working part time with half of our roof torn down to the joists, no money and no help. My mom called on the bishop of our church for help. My dad had been attending the church for a few years longer than my mother and it seemed like everyone who was his friend (and he had a lot of them) refused to help. It ended up being the bishop, his wife and my mom and my aunt Minnie on the roof. She wouldn't let any of us kids up there.
We ended up living in the family home for another year without paying the house payment, because we couldn't afford to, until we were evicted.
During this time my mom started working full time as an assistant manager at 7-Eleven. We received food stamps and federal health care. I don't know if we received money or not. My dad paid $525 per month in child support and then with my mom's income of maybe $400 per month we didn't have much.
My mom made the difficult decision of going back to school to become an R.N. because she knew that she couldn't make it on the income that she was bringing home. That meant that we rarely saw her because she was either at work or at school.
My sister, Maria, ended up being in charge of the house. She was about 15 or 16 and had to do all of the shopping and get after my brother and I to do our chores. She had so much responsibility heaped on her at a very young age. She had to figure out how to feed 4 people and a dog on $100 per month. Not an easy prospect. We ate a lot of pasta and high carb food because it was cheap. It was better to have a belly full of not so good food than no food at all. This was also at the time where 7-Eleven sold sandwiches in addition to nachos and hot dogs. My mom received permission from the manager to bring home the expired sandwiches every day and that was our main day to day food. Everyone would fight over the chicken sandwiches and no one wanted the BBQ beef sandwiches but my mom always brought all of them home because she knew that they would get eaten.
At one point I only had one pair of shoes. It was a pair of sneakers. I got it stuck underneath the bathroom door and totally ripped the top of my shoe halfway off. My mom couldn't afford to get me another pair of shoes so I went around for a couple of weeks with duct tape wrapped around my shoe.
I used to go to visit my mom at work. I would ride my bike over a mile to the store and I would hang out, drinking Slurpees and eating nachos. It was really the only time that I got to spend with my mom and so I was there a lot. I missed my mom but I understood the sacrifice that she was making.
Once we were evicted from our house we had to find another place to live. My mom found a house for us in the neighboring town, which meant that I had to change from one school district that I had been in since kindergarten, to the rival school district. It was hard on me but it ended up being a great change. I had the best school year of my life that first year when I transferred. My grandmother had just sold her home and so she moved in with us to help out with the bills and taking care of us kids so that my sister didn't have that burden anymore.
The really difficult times lasted about two years until my grandmother moved in with us. Her being there, cooking and helping out with everything made such a difference that things seemed to change overnight. No longer were we fending for ourselves, but we now had that parenting figure again to take care of us.
I cannot imagine how difficult this was for my mom. She did the best that she could with the hand that she was dealt. Not only was she working full time, going to school full time and trying to raise three kids, but she also never turned her back on any of our friends and it seemed that if someone needed help that she was there for them even if it meant that she was going without sleep.
Friday, June 01, 2007
Rico, my friend, started taking photos all over the place and by the time that I left, I totally forgot that my camera wasn't in my purse anymore. I will be going over there some time today to get my camera so as soon as I do, I will be updating this entry to show you the photos. But for now I will tell you about the experience.
Funny Girl and I arrived at Mos Eisley's around 6:20 for my 6:30 appointment. We walked into the shop and it has a very cool vibe. Old hardwood floors, a counter that has a distressed, chic style and a row of low slung leather chairs. Along the walls are skateboard designs that the artists have created that you can buy and at the top of a 3/4 wall are masses of trophies that the guys that work there have won.
There are all types of people that are working here at Mos Eisley's. Most of the guys have a multitude of tattoos and those large plugs in their ears and the one woman that we saw had them as well. Everyone is laid back and there isn't any drama.
Gareth, my tattooist, comes out and meets me and we discuss the placement and size of my tattoo. He goes back to get everything all set up and then invites Funny Girl and I back into his space. Funny Girl decides that she likes him on the spot because he has a Thundercats tattoo on his calf. Later we find out that it was the first tattoo that he ever did.
The shop doesn't have an open area where everyone gets tattooed in view of everyone else. I walk into a small room with 3/4 high walls that has a dentist-looking chair, a pedestal sink, a few cool posters, a couple of bookcases, the light and stool for Gareth and a few other folding chairs that observers can sit in.
It took two tries for the tattoo to be placed properly on my back but then we were ready to go.
Gareth starts at the bottom of the tattoo and I hardly feel anything. I think to myself that this isn't going to be bad at all and for the most part it was fine. By the end it was hurting quite a bit, but not enough that I had to ask him to stop. I just gritted my teeth and would say "unicorns & rainbows" trying to think of nice, non-painful things.
During the tattooing, Gareth, Funny Girl and I had the best conversations. Gareth has a Bachelor's degree in History and Religious studies and we talked about all kids of things from the issues with the U.S. in the Middle East and oil to my growing up in the Mormon faith.
I asked his honest opinion about the tattoo that I had chosen and he said that it was the best faith based tattoo that he has ever seen. He had seen it tattooed on a couple of other people and I personally had seen one other person with it. It isn't very common though, which I was happy to hear.
After we were done I paid. He only charged me $120 which I thought was too little so I gave him an extra $30.00. I think that he was surprised that I was willing to pay more than I was quoted. He thanked me and then we discussed caring for the tattoo and we went outside and chatted for a few more minutes and then Funny Girl and I left.
I have had no bleeding and very little pain and I am extremely pleased with the result.
Partway done. Gareth had to take a break so we got a good photo of the work in progress. You can see that the outline is done and some coloring is completed but still a ways to go as Gareth used a fine gauge needle.
Me and Gareth after the tattoo is complete. He was such a cool guy to talk to and did a fantastic job on the tattoo.
Here is the tattoo as of this afternoon. You can still see some redness but the image is very clean.