Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Hump Day Hottie ~ For The Guys

This weeks Hump Day Hottie was born on September 2, 1966 in Coatzacoalcos, Veracruz, Mexico to a Lebanese oil company executive and an opera singer.
Her real last name is Jimenez.
She was raised in a wealthy, devoutly Catholic family.
She was an accomplished gymnast with aspirations of becoming an Olympic competitor.
At the age of 23 she landed the title role in Teresa, a successful telenova which earned her star status in Mexico.
Despite limited fluency in English she moved to Los Angeles, CA to study acting and pursue a career in hollywood.
She got the break that she needed starring opposite Antonio Banderas in 1995's Desperado.
She was nominated for an Academy Award for her performance as Frida Kahlo in the 2002 movie Frida.
In December, 2005 she directed a music video for Prince.
She is the executive producer of Ugly Betty and has guest starred in two roles.
She has been a spokesperson for Avon Products, Inc. since 2004.
She is single and has a home in Los Angeles and Mexico.
She is best friends with Spanish actress, Penelope Cruz.

This weeks Hump Day Hottie is ~ Salma Hayek

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

What Little Sympathy I Felt Was Flushed Down The Toilet

After spending two hours getting ready for the club it was after 10 PM. I call Funny Girl and she sounds exasperated that it took me so long to call her. I apologized that it took me so long to call her. We were ready to leave in about 15 minutes and so we discussed whether to meet there or go together. Dolly was driving separately as she was supposed to go out hot tubbing with friends after and although I was invited had declined the invitation. Funny Girl asked me to pick her up so that we could go together.

I do have to backtrack here and say that I was already in a slightly grumpy mood. It was that time of the month and although I had hoped to fit in a nap I was busy all day and had gotten home later than I expected to from spending time with another friend.

I drive and pick up Funny Girl and I was expecting her to be slightly irritated because that was the impression that I got on the phone. When I got there she was all happy, chipper and ready to go. She hops in my car and we go to the club and meet Dolly there.

We go inside and make a beeline for the bar. I order a double Malibu Rum with Coke and Funny Girl orders a Long Island. Dolly gets a beer. We meet up with a couple of other friends that we knew were going to be there. I drank my drink pretty fast because I was driving and it was the only one I was allowing myself to drink. While we were standing there Dave comes over to say hi to Funny Girl. He had gone out on a date with her but since she is not looking to date and he is looking for something serious it never went anywhere. He remembers me and says hi to me too.

We went out and danced a few times as a group. Dolly had a scary looking guy try to come up on her and tried to start booty dancing with her. She kept moving and I pulled her over to the other side, gave the guy the back off glare and he finally left her alone. Funny Girl is just dancing and laughing, having a ball.

We find a vacant table and my feet are killing me at this point (remember the killer shoes?). We go and sit down. I don't have a drink but Dolly and Funny Girl do so when they want to go out and dance again I told them I would watch the drinks.
While I am sitting there Dave comes over and sits down. He laments at how frustrating women are and how he can't figure them out. I respond and tell him that if you lump them all together rather than individually he will never understand them. He then says that he has been trying to find someone for a committed relationship and that it seems that no one wants that. I respond and tell him that I am looking for the same thing so there are women out there that do. He looks at me up and down with a "Hmmm" look on his face. Then he turns away as Funny Girl and Dolly return. Additional conversation ensues between them and the he gets up, indicates that he is leaving and takes off.

Funny Girl has another Long Island but I switch to Sprite. Funny Girl is getting really buzzed and I know that I should have said something to her indicating that she might want to lay off any additional alcohol but I figured that I since I had said something in the past about her tendency to overindulge and to be honest, I didn't want to feel like I was lecturing her or harping on her. I didn't want to have to act like a mom when I was at the club.

We go out and dance a few more times and Funny Girl gets a phone number. I talk to some of my friends who had come separately and Funny Girl dances with another guy. Then we decide to leave and go to IHOP for some pancakes. Funny Girl walks out with the last guy that she danced with while I am saying goodbye to my friends.

Walking out to my car I was alone thinking to myself what a waste that had been. It was nice to see my friends but I don't need to be at the club to see them. I come around the corner and see Funny Girl kissing a guy, leaning up against my car. I walk to my car tempted to set off the alarm to see what they would do because frankly, Funny Girl was oblivious to anything that was going on around her and I was jealous that I didn't have anyone that wanted to kiss me. I walk past her to my side of the car, unlock the door and pull out my coat. She doesn't even realize that I am there until kissing guy's friend walks up to get him. She gets in the car and we have a conversation about making out with a guy and giving him a fake number. Along with everything else it was just another thing that bugged me that night.

Dolly was asked to take another friend home so she said that she would meet me there. IHOP is only a half mile away so Funny Girl and I go in to get a table. We are waiting to be seated and Funny Girl says she is going to the bathroom. I am seated at a table and ask to wait to order until Dolly and Funny Girl get there. I wait and I wait, and I wait, and I wait. Dolly calls me to tell me that she isn't going to make it because she wants to hang out with the friend that she took home. I tell her it is fine (which I was annoyed but didn't tell her at the time) and then wait some more.

After 20 minutes in the bathroom it was apparent that Funny Girl was chuffing so I call her and ask her if she is OK. She says she is and I tell her that Dolly isn't coming and that I have been sitting out there by myself. She says she will be out in a minute. So I wait, and wait, and wait some more. After another 15 minutes I am really pissed. I have gotten a lot of strange looks and am feeling really conspicuous. I get up and go into the bathroom and Funny Girl is still squatted down in the stall facing the toilet.

I can't remember if I asked her how she was feeling. I probably did but at this point I didn't really care. I was upset and felt really foolish. I made a few comments (probably complaining) and then told Funny Girl that I didn't care about eating anymore. I just wanted to go home. She said OK and that it would be another minute. I tell her that I am going out to wait in the car and I walk out the door.

I sit in the car for 15 minutes waiting for Funny Girl to come to the car. There was a part of me that just wanted to leave her there almost as a childish punishment because I was angry, hurt, annoyed and frustrated. Of course I don't leave and Funny Girl comes out to the car, gets in and we take off. While I am driving I am stewing in my own anger, frustration, jealousy and hurt. Funny Girl makes one comment and I respond in a clipped voice. She doesn't say another word and neither do I. I drop her off and she says goodnight and gets out of the car. I don't say anything. I watch to make sure she gets in her apartment and I drive home.

During the drive I try to dissect why I am so mad. I can't decide what the catalyst of my anger is but I am really, really, really mad. I stop at Taco Bell and get some food thinking that I still want pancakes and go home. I get home and am still mad. I eat my food and still, I am mad.

Funny Girl text messages me and writes "I don't know if I've ever made you this angry before. I apologize." I read it and a part of me thinks that I should call her and tell her that it is OK, but I am still pissed off and so I go to bed and don't reply to her text message.

Funny Girl and I did talk and work things out. I explained that I didn't want to act like "mom" around her and tell her how much she could drink but that she has to set those limits herself. Funny Girl said that she knows her limit but then she just decided to have more and maybe in a way she wanted me to show how much I care for her by telling her that it wasn't OK. She said that she felt like she was being manipulative and that she felt really bad about it. We worked everything out and everything is all good.

I know that a lot of this was my own expectations not being met and that since I was moody and slightly overly-sensitive that day that I tended to overreact to what was going on and things that normally wouldn't have bothered me really pissed me off. That is my fault. I became judgemental about my friends and deemed that their behavior wasn't what I expected of them so I got angry. I have to learn that it doesn't matter what kind of day I am having. If I would have leaned on my friends rather than judging them I would have had a much better time.

Monday, January 29, 2007

Too Much Effort?

I went out with my friends on Saturday to the club. I usually go 1-2 times per month and I really look forward to it because I like to dance, hang out with friends, drink and flirt with cute boys.

This weekend I ended up being disappointed with the entire event. Don't get me wrong, I had fun, but I think that because I hadn't gone in a month that I placed too many expectations on the evening and put WAY too much effort in getting ready.

I don't know why I spend so much time trying to look my best when I go to the club. Within a hour my hair was flat from sweating so the hour that I spent curling my hair was wasted.
I went shopping earlier in the day and bought a shirt that I liked but I wasn't 100% comfortable in because it definitely took me out of my comfort zone. It had a belt around the waist and was a very vibrant pattern.

I wore my super cute black, patent leather peekaboo toe heels that made my feet hurt within an hour of being there and my "signature" red lipstick.
I have a feeling that I might have overdone it.

Funnygirl and Dolly came with me and they both looked good but not like they made quite the effort that I did. They had lots of guys giving them attention and I ended up being the one sitting at the table by myself while they were dancing and watched the drinks and purses.

I had a nice conversation with someone that I had met before that had gone out on a date with Funnygirl and with Dolly. He is looking for a committed relationship but he thought that I was married. When I told him that I wasn't and that I was looking for the same thing that he was I don't think that he could have left any faster.
It was pretty horrible feeling like I was invisible after putting in so much effort.

Next time I am wearing my "Brunette is the new blonde" t-shirt and sneakers and I am going to go shake my booty and hang with the girls. Boys aren't allowed in the treehouse anyway.

What Kind Of Soul Are You

Tara from Ec.lec.tic Spaghetti posted this last week. Some of these are usually pretty accurate and some are just silly. This one is so dead on it almost scares me.

You Are a Peacemaker Soul

You strive to please others and compromise anyway you can.
War or conflict bothers you, and you would do anything to keep the peace.
You are a good mediator and a true negotiator.
Sometimes you do too much, trying so hard to make people happy.

While you keep the peace, you tend to be secretly judgmental.
You lose respect for people who don't like to both give and take.
On the flip side, you've got a great sense of humor and wit.
You're always dimplomatic and able to give good advice.

Souls you are most compatible with: Warrior Soul, Hunter Soul and Visionary Soul

Friday, January 26, 2007

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Watercolor Friendships

When I was going from 7th to 8th grade I had to transfer schools. I had gone to the same school district since kindergarten and now in the middle of my junior high school years I was transferring to a new school. To make matters worse, it was the biggest rival of my former school.
I went in and registered for school fearful that I would be looked at as a pariah by my classmates. After I finished the registration process the lady told me that there was another student that had transferred in from my former school. She told me the other students name, which I didn’t recognize, and suggested that we get in contact with each other.
We found each other within the first few days of school and felt an instant bond with each other as we both felt like outsiders. Lisa was beautiful with bright red hair and big blue eyes. She and I became the best of friends and it turned out to be a friendship that would last for years.
My fears of being a pariah were unfounded and Lisa and I found a niche of great friends that we ate lunch with every day and we changed our schedules around so that we could take a few classes together.
We only lived 4 or 5 blocks from each other so we would meet at the same bus stop and ride to and from school together. We were just barely teenagers and we would pour over fashion magazines and talk about who we had a crush on that week in school.
It was the most defining friendship that I had in all of the years that I was in school. Lisa was the girl that I could tell my secrets to and we talked about everything. Lisa knew more about fashion and makeup than I did so I learned a lot from her in that aspect.
Although neither of our families were rich, her grandmother was very fashionable and since Lisa wore the same size she had really awesome clothes and was always in style. I did the best with what I had but in no way would I have been considered as trendy.
I was only in that school district for that one year. My mom married during that summer and we moved away. I kept in touch with Lisa but it was difficult since we were long distance and in the 80’s there was no email and no one had cell phones.
We would write to each other and call sometimes. I was able to come down every few months or so and visit and even came down one summer and stayed with my grandmother (who was in the same town) which made for the best summer I have ever had in my life.
When I was a senior in High School Lisa was having trouble at home. I can’t really remember what it was but there was an issue with her family about who she was dating. He was in the military and African American. I don’t know what they had a problem with but Lisa was young and in love and I lived only 20 minutes away from where her boyfriend lived so she came and stayed with my family, transferring schools and we became roommates.
It was great at first but she would be gone a lot spending time with her boyfriend. We had changed a bit since our Junior High days and it seemed like we didn’t have quite so much in common.
After we graduated she moved in with her boyfriend and we saw each other sometimes but she was busy with her boyfriend and his kids, working and living life. I was busy working and had another friend that I spent more time with because we were both young, single and had no kids. I never really thought about it but I wonder if Lisa felt that I had abandoned her. For a long time I felt that she had kind of abandoned me so I tried to move on but I missed her a lot.
She ended up moving away with her boyfriend to Louisiana (I think) and his kids. We would talk on the phone every once in a while but it wasn’t like before when we would talk for hours about whatever came to mind. It became a bit strained and after a while it would be maybe a phone call once or twice per year. Then it stopped all together.
About a year and a half ago I starting thinking about Lisa and how much I missed our friendship. I called the last phone number that I had for her (which was about 3 years old) and someone answered the phone and said that she didn’t know who Lisa was.
I went online looking for her. Although she had moved out of state I thought that there might be a chance that she had moved back to Washington. I found someone with her name in Washougal, WA. I decided to call and figured that if it was the wrong person that at least I had made an effort.
A woman answered the phone and I was really nervous so my explanation spilled out of my mouth in a jumble. The woman responded with “Hi Rach. It’s me.” I felt joy well up that I had found her and relief that I didn’t make too much of a fool of myself.
We talked for a while and caught up on what had happened with each others lives. She was working full time and going to school full time and I had just happened to catch her on a rare night at home.
She was in college to do something in the medical field (I can’t remember what it was) and was engaged to a man who lived about 20 minutes away from where we grew up. He had 2 kids and she talked about them too. I talked to her about D and what life was like in Michigan.
I felt confident that we were going to revive our friendship and that now that we had re-connected that we would keep in touch. Lisa sent me a card with a photo of her and her fiancée and his kids along with a note stating that the best way to get ahold of her was by email since she was gone so much.
I emailed her a few times but got no response. Then I called her a few times and she never called back. I figured that she was busy and that she would call me or email me when she had time. I haven’t heard from her since and our friendship has faded away once again.
I miss Lisa. I miss talking to her. I miss having someone to call that has known me for over 20 years. I remember her birthday every year since she is only 11 days younger than I am and wish her a happy birthday to the clouds hoping that she can feel it.
I think about her sister and brother and wonder how they are doing. Is her sister still in the Air Force? What happened to her brother? How are her parents and grandparents? I feel like I lost part of my extended family. I cared about them because they were Lisa’s family. I hope that they are all doing OK.
When I think of my friendship with Lisa I picture a watercolor painting. It starts out vibrant and colorful but over time the colors fade to a warm memory of what they used to be. The picture isn’t any less beautiful but over time has faded and has less of an impact.
My friend Anne’s life had changed significantly in the past year and a half. She has gotten married, had a child, works full time and attends college. Her plate is over flowing and she just doesn’t have time to hang out like she used to. We both try to make sure that we stay connected so that our friendship doesn’t turn into a faded watercolor painting too.
I cherish my friendships and I hate to see any of them fall to the wayside due to neglect, life changes or tragedy. I do my best to try and keep in touch with the people that I care about but sometimes life gets in the way and you realize that you haven’t taken the time lately to see how your extended friends are.
I went online last night trying to find Lisa. She has married and I was able to find her new last name by doing a people search combined with the name of her high school. I found a phone number for her under her husband’s name and tried to call it. It was disconnected. It did give me an address as well so I have decided that I am going to send her a letter and try to renew our friendship one more time.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Hump Day Hottie

This weeks Hump Day Hottie was born on November 4, 1969 in Uvalde, TX.

The youngest of three boys, son of a gas station ownder who ran a oil pipe supply business and a mother who was a substitute teacher.

His parents divorced and re-married each other several times in what this weeks Hump Day Hottie describes as a "loving, but unstable relationship".

He was voted "Most Handsome" by his high school in 1988.

In 1993 he appeared in his first movie Dazed & Confused but was not fully recognized for his acting prowess until he played a lawyer in the 1996 movie A Time To Kill .

On October 25, 1999 he was arrested in his home. The charges included posession of marijuana and resisting arrest. The police were responding to a disturbance call after a neighbor complained of loud music from the house next door. They arrived to "easily hear very loud music" bongo drum playing and clapping coming from this Hump Day Hottie's residence. He was found dancing around naked and playing bongo drums with a friend. The drug charges were dropped but he pled guilty for violating the city's noise ordinance and paid a $50.00 fine.

He has a knack for getting himself involved in unusual situations with animals such as snatching a cat from youths who had doused it with hairspray and were attempting to set it on fire, rescuing pets that were stranded in New Orleans from Hurricane Katrina.

He is often seen at Texas Longhorn fooball games.

He has dated acresses Sandra Bullock, Ashley Judd and Penelope Cruz.

Voted the "Sexiest Man Alive for 2005" by People Magazine.

He admits to wearing no underwear, cologne or deodorant because he doesn't want to smell like someone else. He says "People say I ought to start wearing it."

This weeks Hump Day Hottie is ~ Matthew McConaughey

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

All By Myself

A recent article was written stating that there are now more single women than married women in the United States.
You can read the article here :

I know that there are a lot of women who feel that marriage is an antiquated, oppressive union and that it is unnecessary in today’s society. I don’t disagree with them but I just wanted to say:

I want to get married. I want to be in a partnership with “The One”. When I imagined my life when I was growing up I always pictured myself with a spouse and children in a committed relationship of mutual respect and equality.

When I was younger I had always assumed that by the time I turned 30 that I would be married, done having kids and know what I wanted to do with my life professionally and personally. It was a doubly bitter pill to swallow when I turned 30 because I could no longer claim to be in my 20’s and I hadn’t achieved the unconscious goal that I set for myself.

I have been proposed to a couple of times but I always said no. I knew that they were not the kind of man that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I didn’t want to become another statistic and divorce and remarry when I was older and wiser. So I never married at all expecting that “The One” would come along and sweep me off my feet.

My mom (whom I love to death) has been married 5 times. I was born right before she married for the 3rd time so I witnessed 3 marriages and the failure of 2 of them. Although I admire my mother and am proud when people tell me that I am a lot like her I didn’t want to follow her down the path of marriages and divorces.

Living in West Michigan there seems to be a lack of quality single men that are in a comparable age group that I am in. Many people here get married quite young, typically within a few years out of college and then surprisingly, a large number of them stay married. A lot of men in their 30’s that are not married are single by choice and plan to stay that way for a long time. Then there are the “Tim’s” out there that couldn’t spell marriage if you paid him.

When I lived in Washington State it was a Man Fiesta. I was the same size that I am now and I always had someone interested in me. Sometimes I would casually date a few people at a time. Then I moved to West Michigan and it was like moving from the Amazon Rain Forest of men to the Bonneville Salt Flats.

I am embarrassed to admit this but I am just going to spit it out: I have not been in a serious relationship for over eight years. It isn’t because I have my standards set incredibly high. Of course there are criteria that I require. I would be pathetic if I didn’t have some standards.

I wonder if it is because I have a kid? Many men don’t want to date a woman with kids. The ones that do tend to get snatched up pretty quickly.

I don’t blame my singledom on anyone and I honestly don’t know where this post is going other than to say that not ALL of the 51% of single women are single by choice.

I am one of the 51% that longs to become part of the minority.

Monday, January 22, 2007

Vacation Of My Dreams

Living in Michigan makes me long for a warmer climate. I spend 3-4 months per year in bitter cold, snow, ice and dealing with shoddy roads and even shoddier drivers.

Since I can't be outside grilling on my bar-b-que or lounging by the pool I consign myself to daydreaming about my fantasy vacation.

I haven't traveled much in my lifetime. I have never had a passport and the only country that I have been in besides the U.S.A. is Canada (which by the way their broadcast news is much more cheerful than in the U.S.).

I have been to the following states: Washington, Oregon, California, Idaho, Utah, Arizona, Michigan, Illinois, Ohio, Indiana, Texas, Florida & Georgia. I have been in the airport in Minnesota and took a wrong turn while in Youngstown, OH and ended up driving a mile into Pennsylvania. I have also been to Vancouver & Ottawa, Canada. I went on a road trip with my friend Anne to Ottawa to pick up her daughter so I drove past Toronto but we never stopped so I don't count it.

I would love to travel overseas. There are so many places that I want to see. So much history that I want to immerse myself in. I would list all of the places that I want to see but it would make for a really long post.

For my first overseas trip I really want to take a three week cruise that starts in England, goes down the coast of Western Europe and around the boot of Italy and then spends a week cruising the Greek Isles. Of course the price of this cruise ranges from $10,000 - $20,000 not including gratuities, airfare or off ship trips.

I think that in reality my first trip overseas will be to Great Britain. I would love to see Stonehenge, Cullodon Field, Edinburgh Castle, Big Ben, Buckingham Palace, Parliament, Tower of London, Royal Museum of Scotland, the White Cliffs of Dover, Loughcrew Cairns and lots and lots of other places in Great Britain.

Since I tend to be a bit of a spender when I travel it may take me a few years to save the money. I have faith that I will make it there before I turn 40 (7 years).

Anyone want to join me in the adventure?

Friday, January 19, 2007

Snow, Snow, More Snow & A Crazy Cat

I thought I would take a couple of photos from my front door so that you could see what is happening in my neck of the woods.

This photo shows my sidewalk and side yard from my front door. As you can see there is a trail and I haven't yet shoveled. I hate shoveling more than I hate mowing. If I would have thought about the maintenence before I bought my house I would still be renting. The white sparkles are snowflakes.

This is my crazy cat Ashen. She is forever trying to get outside and when I was taking photos in the doorway she escaped. Now I can't get her back inside. I figure that when she gets cold enough she will meow at the door. I won't close the main door (glass door is closed) until she is back inside.

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I Wish I Could Change Things

D always stays at his dad's house on Wednesday and every other weekend.Last night when I picked him up at his grandparents after I got off of work his grandmother gave me a cryptic message. After D had gone to the car she told me to ask him what happened this morning at his dad's house.
Some of you may know some of this situation if you have read my blog for a long time. If you are relatively new go read this: (sorry about the funky link but blogger is being wacked out today)
Now that you know the back story I will tell you what happened yesterday morning.
Nick, age 14, is Step-Monster's oldest son. He has a bi-polar disorder and HATES Butthead.
Yesterday he was looking for his belt and couldn't find it. He mouthed off to Step-Monster and Butthead told him to knock it off. Nick went off the deep end and launched himself at Butthead, assaulting him. Butthead wrestled him down the to the floor to prevent Nick from hitting him. Step-Monster tried to pull them apart and Nick hit her in the process. I guess that the police were called and Nick was arrested and taken to juvenile hall.
During this episode, D was sitting on the couch with a blanket over his head.
I asked D what he thought about what happened and he said "I thought it was cool."
After questioning him further I found that due to his fear he was trying to corrolate what had happened with mild violence in a video game. I explained to him that any kind of violence, videogame or otherwise was completely unacceptable.
I am pretty strict about what games D can play but his dad allows him to play games that I would deem inappropriate.
As we have shared custody and visitation time filed with the court I have no recourse as Butthead makes the day to day decisions when I am not there.
I am so frustrated. There are so many little things that happen while D is there that I don't want him exposed to but because nothing has happened that enables me to file a restraining order against anyone in the house my hands are tied. If Butthead chooses to exercise his visitation rights (which he does every week) I am legally obligated to abide by the court order.
I am at a loss on how to diffuse the negative influences that he receives when he is over there and it is breaking my heart that he has to see these things.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

There Are Worse Things I Could Do...

There are a lot of things that I have done in my life that I am not proud of. Some of them were minor but a few of them were whoppers. Things that I still think about. Some I regret but some still provide me with a twisted sense of satisfaction and for the life of me I can't bring myself to feel remorseful.
When I was 21 I had a boyfriend named James. He was the first guy that I seriously loved. I was the kind of girl that would date someone and then get sick of them in a few months and break up with them. Not James. He was someone I could see myself spending the rest of my life with.
We dated for a few months and then he found out that he was being transferred to Egypt. He was in the Army so you don't really have a choice. We broke up about 2 months before he left because I actually bought into the line that it was better to break it off earlier rather than later to make it less painful.
Although we were no longer "a couple" we still saw each other and continued to sleep together. I had a pregnancy scare and someone that we both knew was telling him lies that I was sleeping around with other guys. He said some hurtful things to me and I got mad and stopped communicating with him.
A few months later I had taken my friend to see her boyfriend who happened to live in the same barracks building as my ex. I saw James' car there and thought that it was strange but since I didn't know how everything worked I figured that he was having a friend take care of it or that it would be parked there until he returned.
My friend was "busy" visiting her boyfriend so I had to make myself scarce. I walked down the hallway heading towards James' old room and noticed that the things that he had on his door were still there. I heard some noise coming out from the room so I knocked on the door and he opened it.
I looked and him and said "I just wanted to let you know that I am not pregnant", turned and walked away. He closed his door for 5 second and then opened it back up and came after me. We stopped in the stairwell and talked for a while.
He told me that his orders had been cancelled and that he was staying where he was. I naively thought that meant that we might get back together. Uh, not so much.
I found out that he was now dating someone else and he used the cheesy line that if he broke up with her to be with me that would mean that he might do the same to me. But of course he still wanted to hook up with me. I was dumb enough to believe him and loved him enough that I was willing to be with him any way that I could.
About a month into this cycle of weekly illicit meetings and getting my hopes up and having them shot down I was feeling pretty crappy. I wasn't the kind of girl that allows someone to cheat was I?
Apparently I was even worse.
James called me one morning from his girlfriends apartment while she was working and invited me over. I was super jealous of her and wanted to see what she looked like (in photos) and what her apartment looked like. I knew that this was probably not the best idea but I was still in love with James so I went over.
Her apartment was ok. It was fully furnished and since I was currently living at home with my parents I thought that it was nice. I saw some photos of her with her daughter and although she was decent looking she had that slightly androgynous look that many women in the military have.
Soon after I arrived there James showed me the upstairs which had 2 bedrooms. He takes me into Monique's bedroom ( the girlfriend) and makes his move. We start to make out and we lay down on her bed. We end up having sex on her bed and the whole time I was looking at a photo of her with her daughter.
I know that I should have felt that what we did was wrong but I couldn't seem to get over this twisted sense of triumph that I felt. He wanted me SOOO much that he defiled HER bed to have me.
This my friends is the worst thing that I have ever done. I know that it is a really shitty thing to do and if I had a boyfriend who brought his ex over to have sex on my bed I would be disgusted and devastated.
But for some reason I still can't bring myself to feel sorry about what I did.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Hump Day Hottie

This weeks Hump Day Hottie was born March 18, 1962 in Baltimore, Maryland.
It was during his service project for Eagle Scout at the Maryland School for the Blind that he read aloud for the first time, which he cites as one of the reasons he became interested in narrating.
He attended Towson University in Baltimore County, MD.
He currently lives in San Francisco, CA where he attempts to "pursue a life of serial monogamy with a very understanding woman."
Some of the things that he has done are unexpected. He sang professionaly with the Baltimore Opera, sold over $100 milliion of "simulated" diamonds on QVC and appeared in several dozen commercials for Tylenol.
He has hosted Worst Case Scenarios for TBS, The Most for The History Channel, No Relation for FX and New York Expeditions for PBS.
His first work with Discovery includes a trip to the Valley of the Golden Mummies to host Egypt Week Live!. In addition to the job that he is most famous for his work for Discover now includes announcing for American Chopper, American Hot Rod, and Deadliest Catch.
He is best known for getting down and dirty as the host of Dirty Jobs where he has done jobs ranging from cleaning out sewers in LA to assiting in whale autopsies. Getting dirty and smelly are requirements of this job and he seems to love it.
I would get dirty and smelly with him any day of the week.

This weeks Hump Day Hottie is ~ Mike Rowe

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

It Could Have Been So Beautiful, Could Have Been So Right

A few months ago while I was on vacation I saw someone that I have known for years. Thomas is a really nice guy, funny and very cute in a geeky, cereberal kind of way (just the way I like 'em). We were neighbors when I was 18-20ish and we got to know each other pretty well.
I had just graduated high school and was living life to the fullest. I always had something to do or somewhere to go but in the down time Thomas and I would have really fantastic conversations and we became good friends. He knew me better than most people did because he saw me at my best and my worst.
I was living at home with my parents and I remember sitting on the front steps of my house and having some of the greatest in depth conversations with Thomas and letting him get to know the real me. Not the one that I portrayed to the world or the surface Rachel. Thomas saw the Rachel that had ugly secrets and a sometimes disturbing past. He would also let me know who the real Thomas was and things that he had done or experienced that most people were never privy to.
While I was in Washington I saw Thomas. We caught up on each others lives and since neither of us had anywhere special to go we were able to sit down and catch up on each others lives. He is now married with children and has been for quite a few years.
We fell back into our same pattern of talking and he told me that marriage wasn't all that it was cracked up to be and as hard as he tried that his wife just doesn't seem to care about him anymore. He adores his children but his marriage is on the rocks.
Then he did something that shocked the heck out of me. He told me that he had a huge crush on me when we were neighbors and that he has always cared about me and sometimes would think what it was like if we were together.
The entire time that we were friends I never knew that he felt about me this way. What he didn't know is that I had a huge crush on him too. I never did anything about it because everything seemed platonic from his side.
We both realized that we missed out on something that could have been very significant in each others life. Would we be married today? Who knows but it would have been really, really nice to have at least had the opportunity to see what might have happened.
This is not the first time that this has happened to me. I have a crush on someone but I think that they are not interested in me that way. So I don't say anything and I keep it on the friendship level. I do this because I fear rejection but even more than that I fear losing the friendship that I have with this person. Then I find out years later when both of us are in competely different places in our lives and I sit and wonder what might have been.
I have decided that I am no longer going to do this. I will not hold back my feelings for someone if we are both available. I don't want to find out that someone who could possibly have been "the one" is now someone else's "one".
I am not sure how I will modify this behavior but since this isn't a one time occurence, I don't want to miss out on the next opportunity.
So, if you are my friend and you have a crush on me, please let me know. You never know, I might just surprise you.

Monday, January 15, 2007

I am Justice!

I am on vacation today so I thought that I would post something fun. recently posted this on her website so I took it and it picked what I thought was the perfect tarot card for me. Have a great Monday!!!

You are Justice

Equity, rightness, probity, executive; triumph of the observing side in law.

Justice is about cold, objective balance through reason or natural force. You can't keep smoking and drinking without consequences to your health. It is the card that advises cutting out waste and insists that you make adjustments, do whatever is necessary to bring things back into balance, physically, emotionally, socially, spiritually. It is a card of balance and harmony; if there is imbalance, the correction may
require recourse to the law.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Attack of the Spork

Last year in the spring/early summer time it was a normal Sunday. Funny Girl, D and I had just finished attending church and decided that we would grab a bite to eat before heading our separate ways.

Our church is in an area were there are a lot of nice sit down restaurants within a few miles, but our growling stomachs were craving KFC so we hopped in our cars and off we went.

D and I drove in my car and we met Funny Girl at the restaurant. We all walked in together and saw a line of people patiently waiting for their after church smorgasbord (tons of churches are in the vicinity). I tell D to get a table and Funny Girl and I stand in line.

D goes to the back of the relatively small KFC to one of those tall tables with the barstool type chairs and sets down some stuff indicating that the table is in use. He then comes back to make sure that I knew what to order him. I verified what he wanted and with a smile he skips back to the table to wait.

I turn back toward the front of the store waiting my turn chatting with Funny Girl when D comes up behind me and taps me on my arm. I turn around and look down at him and notice that his is visibly upset. He motions for me to lean over so he can whisper in my ear and says " That lady over there in the white shirt tried to trip me and said in a really mean voice "Slow Down!""

I look at the woman the he is describing and it is an elderly woman probably between the ages of 60 and 70 sitting at a table with 2 other elderly women.

I turn back to D and say something comforting and suggest that he not worry about it thinking that he must have interpreted something incorrectly. Then the person behind me says "She did try to trip him".

I look at Funny Girl and she looks back at me with a "WTF??" look on our faces.

Something you need to know about me is that I am not a confrontational person. I like to discuss things calmly with a minimum of drama. If I am really upset or agitated, I will leave the area until I can calm down and discuss things rationally. I do this because if I am really upset I tend to either really lose my temper and start yelling or I break down it tears and no one can understand anything that I am saying. Since I don't like either of these options, I will wait until I can talk rationally.

After a short internal battle trying to decide if I should do anything about this, my mom instincts kick in and I conclude that I need to approach this woman regarding the situation.
I leave my place in line and walk towards their table with D following closely behind me. Funny girl remains in line but has turned towards the seating area to watch what happens.

I approach their table and say in a polite, quiet voice to the elderly woman "Instead of sticking out your leg to trip a child, next time you might just ask them nicely to slow down".
She could have said "OK" or looked at me and nod or not respond at all and I would have walked away and not said another word about it. Unfortunately none of those things happened. (from this point on I will refer to her as Old Biddy #1).

Old Biddy #1 turns toward me with a condescending look of superiority on her face. I notice that she has facial hair growing out of her chin which has turned white and that she has a horrible case of dry skin and bits are peeling up and I wonder whether any has fallen into her plate. She says "If you would have been watching your child I wouldn't have had to do anything".

Me: "My son was doing what he was told to do. That doesn't give you the right to try and trip him. He could have fallen and gotten hurt" (I am still attempting to remain calm at this point).

Old Biddy #1: "I didn't try and trip him, I stuck my leg out across the aisle to try and slow him down. He was running in the restaurant and you weren't watching him. If you knew how to parent correctly this wouldn't have happened. My children would have NEVER behaved that way in public".

Me: "How dare you tell me that I am a bad parent and how dare you tell me that my child mis-behaved. He is standing RIGHT HERE! He wasn't running and again, he was doing exactly what he was told to do. That doesn't give you the right to try and trip him. He could have gotten hurt and then you and this restaurant would be liable and could be sued".

My voice has started to get louder and I am visibly upset. People in the restaurant are starting to stare openly or put their head down trying to look invisible.

At this point another woman (Old Biddy #2) sitting at the table decides to butt into the "discussion" and says "He was running through the restaurant and the sound of his shoes slapping on the ground was hurting my ears".

I turn to look at her. She reminds me of Barbara Bush with her white hair but more of a dollar store version. Cheap Wal-Mart shirt and shorts, no make-up or hair style other than cut short so she could brush her hair and go. The lines on her face indicate that she has not had a happy life. Very few laugh lines and deep brackets around her mouth show a history of pepetual frowning. She matches Old Biddy #1 quite well.

I look down at D's shoes and notice that he is wearing rubber soled flip flops. There is no way that his shoes make a noise loud enough to cause any normal person pain.

Me: "If you can't handle loud noises then you shouldn't come to a fast food restaurant. You should go to an old people restaurant like Russ'. It doesn't give you or anyone else the right to try and trip a child. If he was hurt that would be assualt."

Old Biddy #2: " Well he assaulted my ears".
I am boiling mad. I have been insulted, my child maligned to his face and I wasn't going to go quietly. I happened to be wearing sandals with thick wooden soles. I lift my right leg up a few inches and smack it down as hard as I can for maximum sound.

The clap echoes through the store and if anyone had been unaware of what was happening up to this point ( it had gotten quite loud as I was using my "outdoor" speaking voice that I would use if a semi-truck was going by or an airplane was flying over) it was apparent that something was going on.

Old Biddy #2 flinches, screws up her eyes and with her spork in her hand swings at me, hitting me in my left arm.

Absolutely speechless for a moment I look down at my arm and see red scratches from the spork along with bits of mashed potatoes sticking to my arm. In shock with my eyes opened wide I sputter "You hit me. You could be arrested for that and go to jail. That is assault".

At this point I am in such shock that things get a bit hazy. Insults fly back between me and Old Biddy #1 & 2 at a rapid pace.

Then Old Biddy #3 (a well coiffed birdlike lady) starts to make a comment. I turn towards here with fire in my eyes and say "Do you REALLY want to become involved with this? Do you? If not then shut the hell up!"

Funny Girl is standing to my left and D is standing slightly behind me to my right watching the exchange with eyes like saucers.

Finally after around 5 minutes the assistant manager walks to the table and very politely asks if everything is OK .

I tell him what has transpired from the attempted tripping of D to Old Biddy #2 hitting me with a spork pointing out that I still have food particles stuck to my arm. The assistant manager asks me if I want him to call the police.

My response, which I regret to this day was "No, she is such an old hag that she would probably die in prison."

At this point I realize that nothing that I say will make these women admit or even realize that they are in the wrong so I turn to Funny Girl and say "Let's go." I grab D's hand and we walk out of the store.

As soon as we walk out of the store I walk about 6 feet to the left of the door towards the back of the restaurant where no one inside can see me. I lean back against the concrete wall and start to shake. I am so angry but absolute mortification starts to set in as well.

My mind is racing. Did I really just do that? Did I really just stand there in the middle of a full restaurant yelling at old women? Was I justfied in what I did? How could I have done that? Why did I call them names? I like elderly people.

Some of these questions are internal but some spilled out as well. Funny Girl is trying to calm me down and convince me that I was justified in what I did. D is stomping around repeating some of the things that I said to those old women calling them old biddies.

The guilt is setting in.

A young girl comes running out of the restaurant with something in her hands. She looks around frantically for a moment and than sees us standing a few feet away. She is holding D's sunglasses in her hand and brings them over to me and says "You left these at the table".

I take them from her and thank her. She stands there for a few moments and her mother follows her out. Her mother walks about 10 feet and turns around.

"I just want to let you know that my daughter saw the entire thing and she did try to trip your son. You were completely justified in what you did. I would have had her arrested."

I thank her and feel such relief that I am tempted to walk up and give her a hug.

Funny Girl and I stand outside for a few more minutes while I continue to calm down. The shaking subsides but the righteous indignation sets in. How could I let those women run me out of KFC? Oh, heck no!!!

I turn to Funny Girl and tell her that we are going back in. She asks me if I am sure that is what I want. My response was something along the lines of "I am not about to let some old hags run me out. I am hungry and I want KFC!"

Heads held high we turn and march back into the restaurant. The rush is over and there are still people eating but no one is in line. We walk to the front counter and the assistant manager walks up. The look of apprehension in his eyes shames me. He is afraid that I have returned to start a scene again.

I assure him that I am not there to make any trouble and I apologize for my behavior. He looks at me with relief and says "That's ok, I got the full story from a bystander".

D pipes up "Who won?"

Me : "I this kind of situation D, no one wins."

Insistent he turns to the assistant manager and repeats his question.

The assistant manager looks at him and says "You did."

Euphoria floods my body. I was right. I was justified. I did what any protective mother would do.

We place our order and get our food. I tell Funny Girl and D that we are going to sit at the same table that we had previously chosen knowing that we would have to walk past the table of old women.

Funny Girl looks at me and says "Are you sure?"

I nod yes and we start walking towards the table. D decides that he doesn't want to walk past them and goes all the way around the other side to get to our table. Thinking to myself "Just say ONE thing. Just one and it is ON!" I sail past their table with my head held high, skirt fluttering in my wake and walk to our table. They never said a word.

I get to our table and it has the tall barstool chairs. If I wanted to be polite I would have quietly pulled the chair back and sat to eat. Instead I decided to give a bit of payback.

I slowly pull my chair back while the metal legs screech across the brick floor making noises reminescent of fingernails on a chalkboard.

Screech, screech, SCREECH!!!

I sit down waiting for Old Biddy#2 to say something about her ears but all I hear is silence.

We start to eat and talk about what happened and after another 10 minutes the old women get up from their table, throw out their trash and walk out the door.

We finish our meals and get up and leave. Funny Girl goes to her car and D and I walk to mine. We get in the car and drive off.

I look in the rearview mirror to get D's attention and I say to him "I am sorry that you saw that. I feel bad that you had to hear the really mean things that woman said."

D replies "Am I really like she said?"

Quickly I say "No, that woman doesn't know you and you aren't at all like she said. But I shouldn't have lost my temper and said the things that I did. I lost control but I wasn't going to stand there and let her say those things about you."

With the starting of tears glistening in his eyes D says something to me that I will never forget. "I didn't know you loved me that much."

It crushed me but at the same time inspired me. I told him that of course I do. I would die for him. I will do anything to protect him.

And even though I yelled at old women, got attacked with a spork and endured embarrassment, mortification and shame I would do it all again just to prove to my son how much I love him.
Plus, it makes a great story.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Pointing Out The Obvious

This post was inspired by Anon1 and something that he wrote on his blog. I say this not to encourage people to visit his blog and lambaste him, but to let you know why this post came to fruition.

I AM FAT! I have been overweight most of my life. There are a lot of reasons why I am fat. Inactivity, boredom, fear, lack of initiative, poor eating habits are some of the reasons why I am now what some people term a "fattie".

When I was growing up I was always skinny until I was in 6th grade. What started the weight gain is a bit hazy as a lot of things happened around that age. I hit puberty, was raped at the age of 10 by my cousin, my parents divorced and my mom was rarely home as she was working full time to support her family and go to school full time so that she could give us a better life.

Being poor and on welfare we had a very limited food budget and we ate a lot of pasta and high carbohydrate laden food. I would regularly have Top Ramen or macaroni & cheese for dinner as it was cheap and meat was usually only reserved for weekend meals when my mom was home.

Fast forward 3 years and I was a size 12. Between 8th and 9th grade my mom married a guy named Jim. He lived in a big house out in the country and we packed up and moved 3 hours away to our new home. There was nothing to do. Literally all that was there was a row of mail boxes. I have never been a nature girl so I would stay in the house and read. One winter our furnace caught on fire so we used a wood stove and individual space heaters in our rooms. That winter I stayed in my room, laid in bed and read a lot. I was bored and I hated it out there so I would read and eat. This brought on a pattern that as much as I have tried to break it, follows me to this day. Mom divorced Jim when I was a junior and we moved into town and I was a bit more active but it was a small, redneck town and I didn't fit in. By the time I graduated high school I was a size 16.

My first job after I graduated high school was at Dairy Queen. We got food half off so I would eat the majority of my meals there. By the time I left DQ I was a size 18.

My second job was at a convenience store/sandwich shop and I was moving around a lot and went back down to a size 16. I was there for about a year and was the promoted to a job at the corporate office. Now I was sedentary again and I went back up to a size 18.

Over the next couple of years it was the heydey of stretchy pants and oversized shirts. I didn't really pay attention to my size and got to a size 20 without even realizing it.

I changed jobs and started to work at a specialty food brokerage firm. Another office job. I sat at a desk typing and all the time people would bring in yummy food for us to sample to try and seduce the product placement people to take on their product.

While I was there I started to work out for the first time. I would go 5 days a week. Three days of cardio and 2 days of weight circuit training. I toned up, slimmed down (probably an 18) and felt great. Then I got pregnant.

Once I got pregnant, I lost my job and lost my workout partner. I was sick for 6 months and could barely function. I didn't eat, didn't work out, didn't do anything. After I had my son I had lost 40 pounds from the first time they weighed me at the OB office. I was a size 16.

I decided to breast feed and since I had gone so long without being able to keep much down I went a bit off the deep end and ate whatever I wanted without any concern over caloric intake and started taking the Depo Provera shots. Within a year I had gained back the 40 pounds I had lost plus some.

Since then my eating habits have been very poor and I haven't really exercised. I did lose 50 pounds once by eating a very restrictive diet and exercising every lunch hour. Then my job scaled our lunches to 30 minutes and started ordering in all the time to make us feel better. I put it all back on and I haven't tried another diet since. I am currently a size 22.

I know I am fat. I don't need people to point it out to me. I can't count how many times I have heard that I have such a pretty face. No one ever continues with the always present thought "Too bad you are fat" but I hear it just the same.

I would like to lose weight. I try and picture myself skinny. I see the super cute clothes that skinny girls wear and I know that I can't wear it because it will make me look horrible. I try and dress tastefully and you won't ever see any space between the top of my pants and the bottom of my shirt. I know how disgusting muffin tops are and I won't subject myself, let alone anyone else to mine.

I decide that I am going to start to diet and exercise and I constantly sabatoge myself. I take sneakers to work to walk 20 minutes at lunch. Then I don't put them on. I am tired. I didn't eat breakfast. The treadmills are taken and it is too cold to walk outside. Any excuse will do.

I don't know why I sabatoge myself so I try and convince myself that it is OK that I am fat. That people should love me for who I am on the inside not what I look like on the outside. I know that people look through me like I am invisible and I try my best not to let it get to me.

I extend myself in friendship to people hoping that they will take the time to get to know me. That my personality should be enough. If they reject me then I convince myself that I wouldn't want to be friends with them anyway because they are too superficial. Inside I am devastated and I eat to suppress the pain of rejection.

People who have never been overweight can't understand why I just don't buckle down and diet and exercise and lose the weight. Imagine that your goal is to climb Mt. Everest but you haven't ever been hiking. It is overwhelming and you give up before you even start.

It is MUCH easier to get fat than it is to lose weight. That is just plain biology. You gain weight you add fat cells. You lose weight you don't lose fat cells, they just shrink. People who have been fat have a much higher chance of becoming fat again than someone who has always been slim.

What you don't understand is that to me, food is an addiction. I crave food when I am hurt, lonely and bored. The irony is that I can't hide my addiction and I can't ever recover from it. If I was an alcoholic, I could hide it from people who weren't close to me. I would look normal on the outside but would be falling apart on the inside. Being fat doesn't allow me to hide it. Anyone who looks at me can see my addiction and many of them judge me for it before I even open my mouth. If I became a recovering alcoholic I would stay away from alcohol 100%. I have to eat. I can't survive without food.

People can be and at times are very cruel. They think that being fat is synonymous with being slothful or dirty. That I may not be a good employee because if I can't control my eating, how can I be a productive employee? I watch people. I see their looks, their rolling of the eyes. The glances between two friends where one will puff out their cheeks to emulate being fat and the other will double over laughing.

Discriminating against and making fun of fat people is one of the only acceptable forms of prejudice. You would never openly mock someone because of their race, sexual orientation or religion. You might do it behind closed doors but not to their face. But it is OK to make fun of fat people. Why? Usually they don't fight back. They look at you with a sad, disappointed face, turn and walk away. Yelling after me to join Jenny Craig won't change anything. Do you really think that I am going to stop, turn around and say "You know what? You are right and I am going to go right now to sign up so that I can be skinny like you and then I will be able to make fun of fat people too".

Some people say that they are concerned about fat people because of the cost to our health care system and that this nations life expectancy rate is actually going down because of obesity. Those are valid concerns, but mocking me or being mean isn't going magically strip 100 pounds off of my frame.

It isn't disgust or hatred that causes people to mock fatties. It is fear. You can't change your race or color. If you are gay or straight more than likely you will stay that way. Most people never change their religion and very few in this country are forced to do so.

Now, here is the important part. People hate and fear fat people because unlike race or sexual orientation nearly EVERYONE has the ability to become fat. You are mean to me because you see in me what you are afraid to become. Sure there are some people who are naturally slim and almost nothing would cause them to gain weight or be fat. The funny thing is that they are jealous of people who CAN gain weight. Not becoming fat, but being able to put on a few pounds.

I know I am fat. You don't have to remind me. You don't have to shove in my face tracts for Weight Watcher, Jenny Craig or any other weight loss program. Nothing that you say or do will motivate me to get off my ass and lose weight. I have to decide for myself that I want to lose weight and then hope like hell that my friends and family will be supportive and positive.

The next time you are on the verge of laughing, making a derogatory comment, mooing at me or trying to convince me to lose weight, please don't. Nothing that you will say hasn't been said before and the only thing that you are making obvious is how much of an ass you are. Everyone already knows that I am fat.

I am sure that people are going to have very strong feelings one way or another about this. Please feel free to comment. But please, do it respectfully.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Hump Day Hottie

He was born February 24, 1955 and a week later was put up for adoption by his unmarried mother.
His biological parents later married and gave birth to his sister, novelist Mona Simpson whom he did not meet until they were adults.
He frequented after-school lectures at the Hewlett-Packard Company and was soon hired there and worked as a summer employee.
He graduated from high school but dropped out of college after only one semester.
He had a job as a technician at Atari with the primary intent of saving money for a spiritual retreat to India.
He went into business briefly in 1974 to build "blue boxes" that allowed free long distance calls.
After that he backpacked around India and came back with his head shaved wearing traditional Indian clothing and went back to his previous job at Atari and was given the task of creating a circuit board for the game Breakout.
He and his friend Steve Wozniak started a company to market the computer. The first personal computer they introduced sold for $666.66, a number Wozniak came up with because he liked repeating digits. It successor the "2" version was introduced the following year and became a huge success turning their company into an important player in the personal computer industry.
In 1985 he was ousted from the company that he created. In 1997 the company that he founded after being ousted was purchased and it brought him back to the original company he co-founded. He has served as it CEO since his return.
He is considered to be a leading figure in both the computer and entertainment industires.
His work driving forward the development of products that are both functional and elegant has earned him a devoted cult following.
Without this weeks Hump Day Hottie we may not have any of the following items:

Any Pixar movie (Cars, Finding Nemo, Monsters, Inc. etc).

And the newest invention people will be scrambling for:


This weeks Hump Day Hottie is ~ Steve Jobs (CEO of Apple, Inc.)

Tuesday, January 09, 2007


Today I am having a rough day. I found out that a couple of my friends are really upset about something that I did, which wasn't intended to hurt or offend anyone and now I feel bad that they are upset with me. I apologized to one of them for hurting her feelings and am dreading apologizing to the other one.

My son had a Dr. appointment for his allergies and now he has to go on a nasal spray so that is another co-pay for him that I pay every month on my tight budget. This makes 3 prescriptions per month. My insurance costs me over $300 per month for both of us anyway.

I forgot that another friend invited me to lunch today and I brought lunch instead trying to be proactive rather than using the cafeteria at work. She has a birthday coupon that she can share with a friend and wants to share it with me. Now I feel bad that she either has to use it herself or wait until Friday to use it since that is the only other day that will work for both of us this week.

I found out via email that the license that I am required to have to do my job expired on 1-1-07 even though I did everything that I was supposed to do to renew it. I have to have 30 credit hours of continuing education every 2 years to renew my license and I completed it. I asked my supervisor if I had to do anything else and she told me no. Now I find out from the licensing department that I was supposed to notify them so that they could renew it. I thought that they received automatic updates from the state. I have to have the license to keep my job.

I am hoping that my day gets better for so far it is looking pretty bleak.

Anyone have any good news that will cheer me up?


Two items of good news.

1. My license did renew. It was the company's records that had not been updated so I don't have anything to worry about.

2. I just found out that my quarterly bonus is going to have the highest percentage of payout that I have received in the past 2+ years. Due to losses and department performance it has been between 60-90%. This quarter it will be at 120%.

**Doin' the happy dance**

Monday, January 08, 2007

Some Reasons Why I Won't Date Tim

Well folks, Tim and I finally talked on Friday evening. He called around 7:00 pm and we talked for around an hour and a half. He was very nice, but I knew relatively quickly that he was not the type of guy that I would date or be interested in having a relationship with. He definitely was not the brightest crayon in the box and he said some things that were very off putting. I listed a few reasons why.
He lives at home with his mom and his mom's boyfriend.
His favorite band is AC/DC.

He called his ex-wife a bitch within 10 minutes of conversation.

The first thing out of his mouth after a greeting was "You are open to a relationship, right"?

He can't figure out why the pyramids were built.

He smokes.

His favorite past times are hunting and fishing. (nothing against these, but I have no interest in either)

He keeps a gun in his house. (I agree with the right to bear arms, just not in my house)
He made a comment about mobile homes and he couldn't figure out how they got them built so quickly. Something along the lines of "They build them so fast. It seems that they pop up overnight". I so wanted to say to him "Because they do"!!

He talks more than I do.

What do you all think? Would you date someone like this?

Friday, January 05, 2007

To Answer Or Not To Answer?

On Tuesday I was at the grocery store shopping and was in the meat department looking for pork ribs because they were on sale. I couldn't find them anywhere so I went to the meat counter asking where they were. The man behind the counter pointed me to a center aisle cooler and wouldn't you know, a whole pile of rib slabs.
Since it is just me and D at home I don't need that much meat so I went back to the counter and asked if I had to buy the whole slab.
The man behind the counter told me that they only sold them in racks but that he could cut them any way that I asked. I explained that I just didn't need that much since it was just me and D. He was very nice and said "I can find the smallest rack that we have and cut it up for you and wrap it in sections so that you can freeze them and use them over time".
He was being so nice but the total amount was just too much of my shopping budget. I told him thanks but no thanks and that I appreciated him trying to be so accomodating but that I was a single mom and I couldn't afford to buy the entire rack on my shopping budget. The man was very understanding. He told me that he completely understands because he is a single dad himself.
His supervisor had been standing there and turned to butcher guy and told him to go ahead and cut a rack in half and sell it to me (which was exactly what my budget allowed price wise). He cut it up, wrapped it and handed it to me.
Then he asked me if I was dating anyone. I told him that I was not. He asked me if I was open to dating. I told him that I was. A bit awkwardly he asked me for my phone number and I gave it to him.
He introduced himself as Tim. I gave him my name and we told each other that it was nice meeting you and I went off to finish my shopping.
On Wednesday I was at karaoke (helping run it for $40) and he called. I didn't answer because I missed the call and decided that since I was busy that I would call him back the next day.
I called back yesterday around 1 PM and left a message for him and then last night at 11:25 he called me but didn't leave a message. I heard the phone ring and figured it was him but chose not to answer because it seems odd to me that he calls so late.
I think that Tim works second shift but I have no idea what time he actually gets off work. I know that he doesn't have a cell phone so part of me wants to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he is calling soon after he gets home. Another part of me keeps thinking that if a guy is calling after 11 PM that it isn't anything more than a booty call, which I am not interested in.
What do you all think? Should I answer next time he calls if it is after 11 PM, or not?

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Hump Day Hottie

He was born on March 2, 1968 in Chester, England.

He played rugby for Hoylake Rugby Club.

Moved to London at the age of 16 to join the National Youth Theatre.

His first major leading role on screen was a co-starring part in the 1996 BBC Television serial Our Friends In The North.

He was previously married to British acress Fiona Loudon and has one child, Ella, who was born in 1992.

Is Chairman of the Honorary Board Of Directors of the NGO "STOP", Stop Trafficking Of People.

Other films he has appeared in are: Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, Road To Perdition, Layer Cake, Sword Of Honour, Sylvia, Enduring Love & Munich.

He signed a three-film contract on October 14th 2005 to become the sixth actor to portray a famous fictional character. There was controversy among fans because of his height 5'11" (2 inches shorter than all the previous actors portraying this character) and due to his hair color.
Despite the controversy the film and his performance in it has been widely critically praised.

On a personal note ~ This weeks Hump Day Hottie blew me away when I saw his performance in Casino Royale. I can't decide whether he looked better in his itty bitty swimsuit or his tuxedo.

Due to his visual magnificence I included 3 photos.

This weeks Hump Day Hottie is ~ Daniel Craig as James Bond 007

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Top 10 Things To Be Happy About In The New Year

10. Holiday baking is over.

9. Summer is THAT much closer.

8. Your tax refund might pay off your holiday debt.

7. Risk of coming in contact with fruitcake averted for another year.

6. Spending the gift cards that you received.

5. Regular television programming returns.

4. Your annual raise

3. Vacation time replenished

2. Spending time with friends and family because you want to, not out of obligation.

And the #1 reason to be happy in the new year ~

No more holiday sweaters.

Happy New Year Everyone!!