Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Here She Is... Miss 80 Pounds Down

Me and my Weight Watchers leader Lisa. I LOVE that woman. This was taken when I hit 75 pounds.

Here are my official 80 pounds down photos.

Definitely curvy.

Showing off my least favorite body part right arms...ugh!

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking

For the past week I have been feeling a bit discouraged. I have been tired and have been forcing myself to work out every day.

Last week the weather was nice and I was able to be outside to work out for 3 days. It was wonderful to feel to sun on my back as I walked around the paths in the office park where I work. There was even some laughable attempts at jogging, but I just don't think that my body is ready for it.

I want to be able to do whatever I want. If I want to run 2 miles my mind is convinced that my body should be able to do it. My body, on the other hand, is quite adamant that it is NOT ready for running or jogging. After about 200 yards or 30-45 seconds, I am panting like I have run a marathon. It is VERY frustrating.

This week I have been driven back to the exercise room due to temperatures on the low 30's during my work out time. What used to be a comfortable place, now seems like a dingy prison. Even with the music blasting in my ears I am bored looking at the same four walls day in and day out. The same 2-3 people come in while I am there but for the most part I am alone. Left to my thoughts and now I am seeing those thought turn dark and depressing.

I have come so far and I know that I am not going to give up. My dark thoughts are fleeting for the most part, but it still bothers me that I am having them.

I am seriously considering joining a gym with part of the stimulus package. What a better way to put it to use? Stimulate the economy while I stimulate my mind and body.

I fould a quote that I find very helpful when I am feeling dark & twisty like I have been in the past week.

"Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius power and magic in it"

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Does Miss Manners Have A Chapter For This?

I wondered if it would even happen. If I would get the dreaded question. It was probably only a matter of time before it happened, but even so, I was ill prepared.

"Did you have Gastric Bypass Surgery"?

There was a strange dichotomy of joy and fury.

Joy because, hey, I have lost a lot of weight and for most people in todays society with GBS being so prevalent, they think that they only way that people can lose is to get sliced open and have the majority of your stomach stapled or removed. People have noticed the large weight loss and may think that it is a compliment. The media has brainwashed the masses into believing that self control is almost non-existent and that because we live in a self indulgent society that there is just no way that people can lose weight the old fashioned way. Eat less. Move more.

Then comes the fury. Who the hell do you think you are by assuming that I had to get cut open to do what I have done? Do I look like someone with no self control? Have you not observed me exercising nearly every day and bringing in healthly, portion controlled meals? If you assume that I had surgery, then you haven't been paying attention.

Instead of asking me if I had surgery, it would be more polite to ask me flat out how I lost the weight that I have. Believe me, I am so excited and have immersed myself so fully into this lifestyle that I can do on ad nauseum about Weight Watchers, exercise, menus, activity points, etc. etc. etc.

Phew! It felt good to get that off my still size D chest.

Have I told you all that I am now able to shop in regular stores? How cool is that. I am still at the point where I can shop plus sizes if I want to, but I CAN shop regular sizes too. Currently I am in a size 16 (getting pretty close to a 14) or a size XL.

Oh, and I also forgot to tell you. Last week I officially made over 75 pounds lost. Actually it was 77.9. Due to a volcano that is currently residing on my chin, I decided to wait to take my 75 pounds down photo until the volcano was slightly smaller than Mt. Vesuvius.

Well, this week I went in expecting not to lose anything. It had been a good week, but my scale at home wasn't showing much movement. Shock the shit out of me. I am officially down 80.1 pounds. That means instead of a 75 lb. pic, you will be all blessed with an 80 pounds lost pic this weekend or early next week.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

A Letter I Wish I Could Have Written 10 Years Ago

Hi Self,

I have been here with you for the past 34 years. I know that you are tired and that you want to play with your son and that you just get way too tired.

People love you for who you are, but I know that you aren't happy with yourself. The way that clothing fits, how tight theater and airline seats are, feeling like people are watching you eat, the pain in your feet and back.

I know that you are scared to lose weight because of things that have happened in the past. You are incarcerated in the fat and flab that you think protects you. It isn't protecting you. It is imprisoning you.

Just start today. Just give it a shot. It works. Really! I know you can do it. I am here waiting for you. The freedom you will feel is exhilarating.

You will feel sexy and energetic. Your clothing will fit and look good on you. Men will notice your confidence and you will get the attention that you never thought you deserved.

You will still be loved. But now you will be inspiring and respected and admired.

P.S. It isn't as hard as you think it is.



Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Random Bar Conversations

This is an actual conversation that I had with a guy at the club. I had previously scoped him out for my friend Eric to find out if he was gay or straight. He was straight but followed me back to my table so I quickly introduced him to a girl that I had befriended at the table next to mine.

Me: It looks like you are having luck at the bar. Are you taking her home with you?

Him: I would rather take you home with me.

Me: I'm celibate.

Him: I'm Rodney.

And that is why I doubt that I will ever meet a Mensa member at the club.