Monday, March 05, 2007

Wounded Winkie


OK, I know that I promised that I would write about my one and only fist fight but something happened tonight that I just HAD to share.

D and I were at the sink doing dishes and I had just come back into the house from grabbing my lunch dishes from the car. He was standing on his step stool washing silverware and I told him that since he was helping wash dishes that he could have ramen noodles instead of tacos if that is what he wanted.

All of a sudden his stool slipped back about a foot or so and he fell foward towards the counter. I heard this high pitched shriek and he leaps off of the stool grabbing his package. He runs about 5 feet and falls on the floor rolling around in agony.

"Duuuude....Oh man, that hurts" was all that came out of his mouth. Followed along with a few ouches and moans.

Being the diligent mother that I am I sit on the chair next to where he is writhing in pain and inquire to find out if there is any serious harm. Any bleeding? Anything missing? You know, the important questions.

I received a moaned reply that there was no bleeding but that it HURT!!!

A few moments later D says "Now I have to pee and I know that it is going to hurt." and he hunches over still holding himself and goes into the bathroom. I get a big grin on my face and try not to laugh out loud.

D returns from the bathroom. I say "Did it hurt to pee?" D replies "No, but it still hurts" while continuing to hold himself.

After confirming that there was no blood and that he is sporting just a scratch (he investigated, not me) he plops on the couch then still moaning he rolls onto the floor and says "I can't believe how much that hurts".

Still trying not to smile and being very serious I say "Now you have learned a very important lesson about manhood. Squishing your penis hurts."

"No kidding. Oh, and mom, can you call it a winkie?", D says. "Or you can call it the P-R word."

"P-R word?" I ask thinking that he means the word prick.

"You know, privates."

The discussion continued on why they are called privates and why you don't show them to everyone.

After about 5 minutes the pain had gone away but D has learned a lesson he won't soon forget. You squish your "winkie" against the corner of the counter while your stool is sliding back and scrapes it all the way down, you are going to be on the floor squealing like a little girl.

18 comments:

dmarks said...

Yikes! A painful tale for the rest of us. At least this valuable lesson did not take place at the circus. Now excuse me, I need to go cringe.

l.b. said...

Poor guy. Even without having the boy parts I can almost feel his pain.

Sizzle said...

i love that he wanted you to call it that. :)

M said...

aww, poor kid! A hard lesson learned!

ChickyBabe said...

Ouchy! Live and learn, hey? ;)

Babybull40 said...

Ahh poor guy.. Yes it has taught him a very valuable lesson.. Next time glue the stool to the floor.. I hope his "winkie" is better today.. Mr. Giggles has discovered his "winkie" whenever he is naked.. I ask him where his pee pee is and he points down.. It's so cute..

Erica said...

Ouch! Painful! Now he knows I guess, what you went through when you broke your privates..I am glad he is okay.

Tara said...

The "PR" word..Hehe..I like that. Did you share with him your circus story after he recovered from his pain? ;)

My nephew fell off a stool while doing dishes too, but I think he just hurt his ankle or something. Then my other nephew was playing on a step stool, he fell off and briefly hurt his stomach. He screamed with that one.

Rachel said...

dmarks ~ The interesting thing is that it doesn't matter what age you are, the reaction pattern is the same.

l.b.~ Once I realized that he wasn't seriously injured it was hard to keep a straight face.

Sizzle ~ I know. Here I am trying to be a mom who uses the correct terms and he tells me not to.

M ~ Indeed.

Chickybabe ~ Yep! He was fine 10 minutes later.

babybull40 ~ He informed me that we need to get a stool with "friction" so that it won't slide. We have a square wooden one.

erica ~ He didn't need to get stitches but I am sure that the pain was more intense.

Tara ~ I didn't share the circus story with him. He doesn't like it when I talk about women's anatomy.

reformattingmybrain said...

This is getting painful... one day it's a hurt vajayjay, the next it's a hurt Winkie. Poor kid! When my son was very little he attended gymnastics for a year, (it was so cute watching a bunch of little kids trying to do some of that stuff - okay I'm going off subject) he was on the bar one day with his teacher helping him flip around it when he screamed that she was hurting his (insert Italian word for penis here)! It wasn't until I got back there that she asked what that meant. My son never went back - he said that hurt too bad and still talks about it to this day.

Playtah said...

He has now learned the rule that the Vice President's body guards live by:

PROTECT DICK!

Eric said...

There is one part of this story that I think needs clarification, getting hit in the penis cause pain similar to getting hit anywhere else on your body, it's the balls that really get you. The slightest tap to the sack could having you vomitting all over someones shoes, writhing in pain.

Also, maybe its just a personal prefences, but tacos are awesome, no way I choose ramen over tacos.

Churlita said...

My daughter always used to call it her privates too. I love it that he had to say PR, like it was a bad word.

Rachel said...

reformat ~ What is the italian word for penis?

Playtah ~ LOLOL...don't forget about Nixon.

Eric ~ I am sure there was some squishage of the scrotum too. But he actually scraped the winkie.

Churlita ~ I have no idea why he thought the privates were a bad word.
Later that night he was laughing about something that was bleeped out on Wife Swap and then said the word ass. He clapped a hand over his mouth and then we and washed out his own mouth with soap.
I couldn't stop laughing.

Dennis said...

I think you have a p-r fetish lately. I think that is highly significant. HHHHMMMMM. Tell D that if he gets in a fight to remember the lesson that he just learned the painful way.

egan said...

Such a cute story. There are so many great names for The Unit, but winkie is definitely one of the more adorable suggestions. I know this pain he spoke of all too well.

laughingattheslut said...

A bit about a boy without a winkle, from a British comedy I used to watch on PBS

Blackadder II

Bells
Nursie's first appearance is in Bells, in which we find out that her real name is Bernard (her sisters were Donald, Eric and Basil), and in which she recalls how Elizabeth was first mistaken for a boy:

"Out you popped, out of your mummie's tumkin and everybody shouting, "It's a boy, it's a boy!" And somebody said, "But it hasn't got a winkle!" And then I said "A boy without a winkle? God be praised, it's a miracle. A boy without a winkle!" And then Sir Thomas More pointed out that a boy without a winkle is a girl, and everyone was really disappointed."
As with much of the history in Blackadder, there is some truth to this. Elizabeth's father, Henry VIII, refused to consider the possibility that his second wife Anne Boleyn might bear him another unwanted girl, and had the birth announcements drawn up ahead of time with the word "Prince." When Elizabeth was born, all the documents had to be altered by the addition of a small "ss." Everyone was really disappointed.

reformattingmybrain said...

Okay, I had to do some research trying to find the spelling as it's kind of a slang word we use in Italian. My Mom and Zia called it a pishadil (sounds just like it's spelled). Not sure if that's the correct spelling, we never did find it. I can't use that word - it scares me! :-) haha A more correct term would be pisello.