Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Death is Inevitable
Do you ever have those moments where you wonder why you aren’t feeling more than you are? Am I jaded? Emotionally dead? Do I just not really care about anyone other than myself?
We got some really sad news at work yesterday. Someone that most everyone who works here knows died over the weekend. Unsubstantiated rumor has it that he had a heart attack some time over the weekend. When he didn’t show up for work we called his ex-wife and she found him on the floor of his apartment. It was a shock for a lot of people.
“Jay” worked in Training & Development and since most of the company had to have some kind of company specific training just about everyone knew who he was.
Jay has worked here for years. He did 2 weeks of my training when I started almost 7 years ago.
Jay doesn’t work in my department. He doesn’t even work in the same building but because he works so closely with many different areas of the company people felt that they knew him.
When we got the news that he had died unexpectedly there was a collective gasp heard around the office. I commiserated with a few people about how sad it was, notified some former co-workers and then went right back to work.
I didn’t obsess about the news. I didn’t start to cry like some other people did. There were a couple of women that broke down and had to leave the area to collect themselves. It made me actually start to wonder if they were really as upset as they seemed to be or if they were just doing it to get out of work for a while. Then I would lambaste myself about how mean spirited I was being.
A couple of weeks ago we got an email about a woman in the company that works in a different state but their management and ours is the same so we hear about the happenings over there. Apparently this woman was on the phone with a client and dropped dead. Just like that. She was gone before anyone could do anything for her.
I didn’t know her but again I thought it was sad and kept on with my day.
I don’t know how I would react if someone at work that I was friendly on a regular basis with died. Would I react the same or break down? I honestly don’t know.
I am a pretty sensitive person in my personal life, but I guess that I just don’t let it really carry over to work. Does that make me cold hearted?