My co-worker/friend Poppy recently met a new guy. His name is Dean and he is 27. Poppy is 25.
They met and started dating about a month ago and really hit it off. Things started to get a bit serious on both of their parts. She met his family and he has met hers. They were together almost every day.
Dean is a virgin and is waiting until marriage. Poppy is not a virgin and has been with quite a few men (she estimates over 30) and unfortunately was not left unscathed from her encounters.
She was hesitant to tell Dean about her problem because she was afraid that it would ruin the prospect of something long term and serious. I encouraged her to tell him and be honest with him up front before they got really deep into a relationship because if they did get really serious that it could be perceived as a betrayal and could destroy anything between them.
Poppy told Dean on Sunday that she had HPV although she mentioned that genital warts could be a side effect she didn’t tell him that she also had the warts and that the re-occur about once per year.
Dean is reeling from the information that she has already given him. He told her that he needs to think and pray. What he has also done is seek the counsel of friends which is really upsetting to Poppy because she doesn’t like people to know and especially people that she may meet in the future if Dean is able to work through this with her.
Before Dean met Poppy he would only date virgins. He had extremely picky standards and wasn’t meeting the type of girl that he had outlined for himself. Now that he has met Poppy and there are genuine feelings he is freaking out that she has these issues to deal with.
I can see the situation from both sides and empathize with both of them.
What advice would you give them?