Thursday, March 29, 2007

With An Ego Like That How Does He Stay On The Ground?

Last night I went out with my friends Poppy & Aria. It started out as a pity party but eventually turned into a night where we let everything out and felt free and happy because of it.
Tuesday Dean broke it off with Poppy in the parking lot of a bar. After drinking a lot and admitting to her that he was probably drunk. Isn't that classy?
Dean had texted Poppy asking what time she would be done with work and homework (she is pursuing her Master's Degree). She told him that she would meet him at the bar that he goes to on Tuesday nights with his friends.
She arrived and he sat next to her but basically didn't talk to her most of the night. After consuming enough liquid courage he walked her out around 1:20 in the morning and told her that it wasn't working out.
Dean gave Poppy an interesting list of excuses one of which was "I don't think you're ready to date someone like me."
Really? Does that sound a bit self-absorbed to you? Yeah, me too.
Some other excuses were as follows:
She needs time to get to know herself.
Sh needs to learn how to hang out by herself. (gee, I guess wanting to spend your free time with someone that you are in a relationship is just too much to ask and when she asked he rarely declined)
He thinks that she is making life changes for him and not for herself. (the whole sex before marriage thing)
It bothered him that she invited him to spend the night. (I guess that wanting to feel cared for and having someone there even without having sex so soon in the relationship bodes ill and completely overshadows the fact that he DID stay overnight. I don't think that handcuffs or force were involved)
That she dated someone for two weeks over five years ago that sold pot. (Hello! College years!)
After this ringing endorsement of his opinion of her he told her that he wanted to remain friends. Just to see what could happen in the future. (ummm yeah, ok buddy. You give her these B.S. lines and you expect her to want to be your friend?)
After the break up Poppy found out more information about Dean. After the entire issue with the HPV and him running around telling everyone and soliciting advice he continued to talk to his friends and since some of his friends encouraged him to dump her, that is what he did.
He is 27 and still can't make a decision on his own? And Poppy needs to find herself? Please.
Poppy put it best when she said this:
Bottom line: He, such a wonderful Christian boy, broke up with me for things that he was just as much at fault for, after telling me I wasn't ready to date a guy like him, while drunk in a bar parking lot at 1:30 am. Does this seem at all ironic or hypocritical?
Poppy I think you forgot a few more adjectives like egotistical, immature and stupid.
But that's just me.
To my dear readers whom I <3:
What is the worst break up excuse you have ever given or been given?


dmarks said...

"Tuesday Dean broke it off with Poppy in the parking lot of a bar. After drinking a lot and admitting to her that he was probably drunk. Isn't that classy?"

He might be in the running for "40 Year Old Virgin", don't you think? Anyway, it's hard to think of anything classy that can happen when Demon Rum is sitting at the steering wheel of someone's mind.

So, do you think he will change his mind and come crawling back to her?

dmarks said...

Oh. And the worst breakup excuse? Probably the one I described to someone a few days ago after having forgotten it for 24 years: None. Other than a lame "I just want to have fun" which I could never figure out.

I also got a break-up statement at the end of something that was never any kind of relationship of any kind. That was kind of weird. Considering a blog aboutt that one some day.

Sofi said...

"I knocked up my ex-girlfriend, so now I have to marry her."

Funny enough, he didn't think we should break up over it. Luckily, I did.

reformattingmybrain said...

"I thought having a relationship would be like the movies."

He wouldn't explain what that meant.

playtah said...

"I told you, we're not dating. Now get out of my flower garden and stop looking through my window. Don't make me enforce the restraining order."

That's the worst break up I've ever had. But he relented after a few weeks in my basement. "He rubs the lotion on his skin or else he gets the hose again...."


Churlita said...

Well, at least he was able to make everything HER fault.

Worst? "I just want everything to be like it was when we first started dating..."

Tara said...

The fact that he told her all this crap and then expects her to shake it off and still remain friends is just so selfish and immature of him.

Fact is, she shouldn't be ready to date a guy like him. She deserves someone much, much better.

Rachel said...

dmarks ~ I don't know. If he does I hope she says no.

dmarks ~ Wow... does that me she wanted to have fun dating you for a while or that she thought that she would have more fun without you?

sofi ~ Nice. He sounds like a winner.

reformat ~ I can't imagine anyone wanting the drama of a movie-like relationship. Get together, cheat, lie, break up...get back together years later. No thanks.

Playtah ~ I thought it was "I haven't gotten over my last girlfriend". I like this one better.

Churlita ~ Isn't it though? I love a person who accepts no responsiblity. Probably a good thing he is still a virgin. No mini Deans running around with an irresonsible dad.

Tara ~ I am sure that Dean has some great qualities. I don't know him as more than just a friend of a friend kind of thing. I think that we have said less than 10 sentences to each other.
Poppy does deserve better. Someone who things that she hung the moon and stars.

Poppy said...

dmarks, I don't think he'll come running back. After a conversation I had with Aria, seems like he's all messed and doesn't know what he himself wants!

sofi, sounds like you made the best choice in that one!

reform, that's a new one... kinda naive! (and I think I spelled that wrong...)

playtah, I wouldn't believe that for a second! :)

churlita, that's exactly what I thought when he said all that! Good thing I'm the only at fault here, cuz that would suck if he did anything wrong!

tara, I appreciate your comment. I have had a few people say that. It was slightly tacky what he did, I was not impressed, and neither was anyone else. I think he's the one who needs to grow up and determine what he wants. And I deserve to be treated and respected better than that!

dmarks said...

rachel -

"does that me she wanted to have fun dating you for a while or that she thought that she would have more fun without you?"

I think it might have meant both. Dating? Well, we didn't get that far. We started out in her room. Dating might have come later, but it didn't.

Aria said...

I think the worst breakup excuse I've ever heard was from one of my 1st boyfriends ever. I was 12 years old, mind you. People didn't break up with eachother back then, they made their friends do it for them.

"She won't let me stick my tongue in her mouth."

He's also the only boy I've ever slapped in the face;)

A jaybird's musings said...

My worst excuse for breaking up with a girl? HAMMERTOES! They’re unnatural!! Seriously though, guys are never really good with the breaking-up thing. I’ve had to do it on a few occasions in the past and it was probably the most awkward thing I have ever had to do. It is hard to tell someone that you just want it to end, either because you’re immature and don’t feel like having an adult discussion or you’re hiding the real reasons for wanting to break-up. It sounds like Dean-O needs his friends constantly there to tell him what to do and what to say. Maybe if you invited them to the break-up party you would have heard something more, um, reasonable? Now I am not going to go on a rant about saying there are plenty of fish in the sea, mainly because with global warming and over-fishing due to increased population demands, it makes that statement not nearly as truthful as it used to be. However, I will say that you should at least try to find another fish; one that doesn’t need fish-advice from other single fish. I find it absolutely hilarious he is getting relationship advice from other single guys. That’s like having your car break down on the highway and getting repair advice from another guy waiting for a tow truck!

dmarks said...

"HAMMERTOES! They’re unnatural!!"

I have some friends over in the center part of the state. Guy and gal. For years and years they lived and slept together. Well, they slept together one way but not the other. She had hammertoes. I never thought of that as an explantion.

Sizzle said...

good lord almighty- what a dick. she is SO much better off. i hope she gets that, eventually.

worst break up excuse? hmmm. . . "you aren't The One" though i was actually grateful, it stung a bit. he wasn't my One either. actually, i thought he was closeted but he later married the next one chick he dated.

poor her.

l.b. said...

I guess my worst break-up line came from one of my first boyfriends who dumped me for another girl...he said, "She's just so eager to please me!"
When he wanted to get back together, fortunately I had moved on and couldn't have been less interested.

BTW, has anyone noticed that David in DC totally got Dean's number?

laughingattheslut said...

I don't think Dean's such a bad guy for breaking it off, but at a bar? I don't know what these Christian friends were doing at a bar in the first place, but this was especially a bad idea under the circumstances. I think it's a really bad idea to give someone bad news at a bar, where they can get drunk right afterwards. He got drunk himself.

I don't think he needed this whole long list. A simple, I don't think I can do this should be enough.

I don't get some of the list anyway. Poppy needs to learn how to be alone with herself? That sounds really weird. Maybe it's not like it sounds. Maybe he's the quiet bookworm type, and he's specifically looking for another quiet bookworm type who isn't out partying while he's home alone reading or something. But somehow, that's not what it sounds like.

And I don't quite get the staying overnight bit either. Was that a test of some sort?

Anyway, I still think that this is better sooner than later.

Not so little Woman said...

Sheeesh!! It is soooo kind of him to stop things with her for her own sake! I mean, surely a man who needs to be drunk to tell someone about moral issues and correct life choices is the one to be listened to!

OK. I'm being too mean. Couldn't help it. What an idiot.

I think it's ok to ask for counsel to friends, but ultimately, one should be private about certain things and also, make up one's own mind. He clearly has issues he needs to deal with. Ideally, if he truly felt that Poppy and him were not compatible, he should've done things properly and maturely. Not the case, it's better that she is alone and can move on to someone who appreciates her fully, and gives thanks he's lucky to have her by his side.

M said...

ohh sorry Poppy :( He turned out to be not so nice in the end. I hope you find someone who is worthy of you! :)

Christina said...

Ugh. That is one reprehensible break up. And I know it sounds cliched, but Poppy is better off without him. It reminds me of the Post-It break up from Sex and the City.

Rachel said...

dmarks ~ You know that meant that she was just wanting sex and nothing else right?

Aria ~ Welcome to my blog chica!!! Did you slap him because he tried to stick his tongue in your mouth?

jaybird ~ Your comment made me laugh out loud and choke on Diet Pepsi.

dmarks ~ Make sure to remember that one for your next life.

sizzle ~ Did he break up with you to date "the one" or did he meet her after the break?

l.b. ~ soooo he was looking for a doormat huh?
You are right David in D.C. was spot on. He should start an advice blog.

laughinattheslut ~ I didn't get some of them either. I think that he pulled a lot of them out of thin air. He goes out with his friends every Tuesday to sing karaoke at a local bar. I haven't ever been because I have D on Tuesdays.

not so little woman ~ I caught the irony in that too.
I will be honest and tell you that I never thought that it would really work between them because they are so different. But I withheld judgement because sometimes opposites work out. But not usually when one of them is judgemental against the other one.

m ~ Poppy had someone flirting with her last night. I don't think she will be single for too terribly long. She is quite lovely.

Christina ~ That was so bad. At least he didn't stick a note to her car window or break up by text message. That would have been horrid.

David in DC said...

Not at all happy to be right here.

But Poppy, keep rachel's point in mind. Except for her spelling:

"Poppy does deserve better. Someone who things [sic] that she hung the moon and stars."

David in DC said...

Worst break-up reason:

That would be the gal who told me I was a freak because, while I enjoyed oral sex as foreplay, I couldn't finish in her mouth.

(A prior long-term girlfriend had threatened to bite off the offending member if I ever dared do such a thing, and the conditioning stuck.)

egan said...

I was told "Mister, you have no clue".

Okay, this is false. I can't think of anything off the top of my head.

This guys seems like a real treat. Let's hope he doesn't come crawling back. And she better not let that happen.

laughingattheslut said...

David, do you think that there is a phone list of this girl's other ex-boyfriends with the same conditioning?

dmarks said...

*LOL*. Better make sure that the phone list has an asterisk or something indicating the presence of bite damage. I hardly ever use *LOL*, do I?

"You know that meant that she was just wanting sex and nothing else right?" (- Rachel)

I am guessing that might have been the case. I'm actually glad it did not get to that, with this one especially.

Babybull40 said...

For someone to claim he is a Christian and goes to bars.. where he dumps his girlfriend is not very Christian at all. Quite hypocritical.. Poppy, My dear, I don't know you, But I can tell you we have all been there at some point with an ass/loser of an excuse for a guy.. You know that saying "when someone is pointing a finger at you, three are pointed back in their direction".. He's nothing more than a coward.. You deserve much better...

Playtah said...

I'm a Christian and I go to bars...but I don't break up with people afterwards in the parking lot. :)

The Diva's Thoughts said...

This guy is such a loser.

Babybull40 said...

No offence meant Playtah..I think the choice he made was really cowardice on his part.. drinking or no drinking..I don't have a problem with any Christians going to bars.. just the breaking up drunk part was very inconsiderate..

laughingattheslut said...

I have a problem with Christians going to bars. Is there some chain of Christian bars that I don't know about?

Or maybe is it not so much a bar as a restaurant that sells alcohol? Even I go to to restaurants that sell alcohol.

It was still a very poor choice for giving someone bad news, regardless of whether or not the people involved were Christians. Someone could have gotten drunk and had a serious accident or something.

playtah said...

BabyBull40 - No offense taken! It was an interesting point that I just thought I'd comment on. I totally agree with you about the cowardice and class there!

laughingattheslut - I can understand people who think that Christians shouldn't go into bars. I don't agree, but I can definitely see where they're coming from. I do agree that it was a poor way to give bad news.

Perhaps Dean should be kicked in the crotch? (He won't be using it for a while, anyway....) :)

laughingattheslut said...

If he had gotten really drunk, some serious slut could have hit on him, and he might have woke up in a strange bed, maybe not even remember what happened.

Not that it would have exactly been funny, but...

Erica said...

I am sorry that Dena didn't turn out to be a good guy, he certainly seems a coward that he needs to get drunk to split up with someone. What a waste of a guy, Poppy can find a million better guys that will appreciate her for who she is!
In terms of break up line, I can't think of any special ones but the worst one was:'I have a long term girlfriend actually, sorry I never told you' after 3 months we were together! Needless to say, I was happy to be rid of him, but really hurt.

David in DC said...

Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker's kid runs a church in a bar.