Monday, January 29, 2007

Too Much Effort?

I went out with my friends on Saturday to the club. I usually go 1-2 times per month and I really look forward to it because I like to dance, hang out with friends, drink and flirt with cute boys.

This weekend I ended up being disappointed with the entire event. Don't get me wrong, I had fun, but I think that because I hadn't gone in a month that I placed too many expectations on the evening and put WAY too much effort in getting ready.

I don't know why I spend so much time trying to look my best when I go to the club. Within a hour my hair was flat from sweating so the hour that I spent curling my hair was wasted.
I went shopping earlier in the day and bought a shirt that I liked but I wasn't 100% comfortable in because it definitely took me out of my comfort zone. It had a belt around the waist and was a very vibrant pattern.

I wore my super cute black, patent leather peekaboo toe heels that made my feet hurt within an hour of being there and my "signature" red lipstick.
I have a feeling that I might have overdone it.

Funnygirl and Dolly came with me and they both looked good but not like they made quite the effort that I did. They had lots of guys giving them attention and I ended up being the one sitting at the table by myself while they were dancing and watched the drinks and purses.

I had a nice conversation with someone that I had met before that had gone out on a date with Funnygirl and with Dolly. He is looking for a committed relationship but he thought that I was married. When I told him that I wasn't and that I was looking for the same thing that he was I don't think that he could have left any faster.
It was pretty horrible feeling like I was invisible after putting in so much effort.

Next time I am wearing my "Brunette is the new blonde" t-shirt and sneakers and I am going to go shake my booty and hang with the girls. Boys aren't allowed in the treehouse anyway.


Dennis said...

Sounds like your own version of the He-man women haters club. Only from the other side. I am usually the one at the table watching everyone else's stuff. Glad to see I am not the only one. Though I don't work that hard to make myself look any better. For me it is a lost cause and I have accepted it.

laughingattheslut said...

You wasted an hour doing your hair just in case one of those cute guys saw you right when you walked in the door. If, after an hour of talking to you, he loses interest because your hair goes flat, who needs him anyway. If you like the way your hair looks, keep doing it anyway, cause at some point there will be a guy worth more than an hours conversation. But you have to get his attention first.

But I know what you mean, and I gave up on the whole fixing my hair thing after my sister's wedding. From now on it is straight long hair or tied up hair. No more curling irons for me.

Red lipstick--good.

Painful shoes--bad.
And who is really looking at your feet anyway. I do not understand why nice looking comfortable shoes are so hard to find. If we would just refuse to buy any other kind, all this nonsense with the high heels and such would just go away.
I have a friend who is very happy with Z coils, but they cost like three hundred dollars. And I don't think that they're great for every occasion. I can't see wearing them to church or on a job interview.

What's up with that guy? Was he telling you he wanted a relationship so that you'd tell your friends that he seems to be a nice guy and they should give him another chance?

David in DC said...

The guy in the bar is nuts.

Good riddance to bad rubbish.

Rachel said...

Dennis ~ Nothing is ever a lost cause. You are a good lookin' guy. You will find the right woman ~ somday!

Laughingattheslut~ I liked the way my hair looked but I think that I will reserve it for special occasions rather than the club.
Cute shoes help me feel sexy...until my feet start to hurt to the point that I am hobbling anyway.
$300 shoes? For me that it s wet dream. No way could I afford that.
The guy is looking for someone to be with. he wants to be in a relationship but he seems to gravitate towards women who don't want the same.
I think that he is really nice and cute but when he found out that I was available he actually started to ignore me and then left pretty fast. It sure didn't feel very good.

David In DC ~ Guys everywhere are nuts.

reformattingmybrain said...

Aaah... the days of doing my hair in curls - I'm not sure if I miss that or am glad to not be holding a curling iron (even though my hair's probably a little short for that now anyway). Honestly I miss really doing my hair sometimes and getting "dressed" up just for fun and to feel good about myself for a night. I had this idea one time... I wanted to get all ready and have my hubby come pick me up and take me out - couldn't see me until I was ready - just like a date, which I know nothing of really :-( He thought I was crazy. I haven't gotten my date night. Someday... I'm doing my hair and getting that date night like I want.

You keep doing what makes you feel fabulous! If you feel great someone else will notice that and you'll grab their attention. Just wear comfy shoes - otherwise ugggg miserable!

Tara said...

I hate being uncomfortable in my clothes. I'm so much more comfortable in jeans and a retro T-shirt than I am in a casual dress. I'm not a very good mingler, either. It's very hard to approach anyone I've never met, let alone any guys. But once I'm relaxed, I love to dance.

l.b. said...

You have the right idea...go for yourself and your have fun! If you meet someone they will get to see the genuine Rachel. Later, if they are very, very good, they might get to see the fancy, dress-up Rachel.

Jenna said...

Hey there Babe!
Something my sister taught me after I tried very hard to fit in her clothes in my teens: You dress for yourself. Always! Itdoesn't matter if there will be cute guys or not hitting on you. Becouse you-you my dear are gourgeous from inside out:) So next time you are getting ready do it becouse it makes you feel great to put on that VC underware, or that shirt that makes you feel sexy...
The boys,they follow always. Just be yourself, and yeah have a blast:)
PS Brunettes do Rock!

Erica said...

Expectations can often ruin many nights, like birthdays-anniversaries etc, I always expect a perfect night and sometimes, it can become a disaster. Having said that, you should never stop making an effort, but like the other girls said, the effort should be for yourself and to make you feel fabulous!
And I agree about the shoes, no matter how uncomfortable they can sometimes be, cute high heels can make a girl feel sexy!
Once I saw a girl in a club changing her heels to a pair of flats - she had brought a spare pair of shoes!! I find that very organised and clever planning but crazy somehow!
Nutheads like that guy you met at the club, think that with unattached girls they would be able to get away with no commitment whatsoever - they are too scared of real relationships.

Rachel said...

Reformat ~ I do dress up a lot of times for myself. I guess I feel like I over dressed on Saturday.
I was having a bad day so I thought that if I made the extra effort that I would feel good. It didn't really work.

Tara ~ I like dressing up and feeling pretty when I do. I wore those shoes because I LOVE how my bright red toe nail polish peeps out. I find it very sexy.
I hear ya about jeans, t-shirts and comfy shoes. If I felt as pretty in those I wouldn't ever wear high heels.

l.b. ~ I was told a long time ago by someone that if someone finds you attractive when you are at your worst that you have found a good guy. And when you dress up and knock his socks off that it is even better.

Jenna ~ Maybe that is my problem. I don't really have much sexy underwear. I did in the past but can't really afford to buy the sexy stuff that I like. I can't bring myself to spend $40- $50 on a bra and then an extra $10 for the panties. I tend to be a bit utilitarian there.
Oh, and I HATE thong panties.

Erica ~ I hear ya. I tend to blow events up to monolithic proportions in my mind and the am disappointed when they don't exceed my over-inflated expectations.
I wasn't trying to find "the one" at the club but it would have been nice if someone had flirted and found me attractive.

Beth said...

Hey, Rachel, my dancing all night days are long since past, but...I turned some heads in my day. I remember doing the hair and makeup and since I learned to dance in 4" stiletto heels, that's what I wore. But they never made my feet hurt then.

Know what, though? I always went for the what was truly me, look, instead of what everyone else was wearing, which at that time meant when all the other girls were wearing jeans and Western shirts and cowboy hats and boots, I was the long blonde hair in the black dress. I didn't care if no one else looked like me, because I felt gorgeous, and when you feel gorgeous, you are.

I also learned that there were times I was being noticed, but he was too shy to say so at the time. So it's my sure and certain guess that you did indeed turn some heads last night...even if you weren't aware of it.

You ARE beautiful. You are vibrant and vivid and unforgettable. So don't ever forget that.

Ask Wendy. SHE knows I don't ever say anything I don't mean!

Playtah/funnygirl/wendy said...


I agree with Beth, and trust me, she's right! (And she never says anything she doesn't mean. I can vouch! And she has fantastic style. And she's beautiful, just like you!)

You looked great on Saturday. Your hair was gorgeous, you were wearing your new shirt, and you just had STYLE.

And the guys giving me attention? Yeah, um, the crazy shades guy who had his phone# prewritten on paper or the other guy who only wanted me cause he thought I was going to be an easy score (yeah, right...I haven't even started the game!)--not so much a quality pool to pick from. I'm surprised I wasn't also approached by a hobo and a car salesman.

You, my dear, are beautiful. And kind. And generous. And you have pizazz. And you tell your tall clumsy friend how to dance, which is good since she can't dance and had one too many long islands on Saturday. So yes, next time will be better. And remember...boys are dumb...throw them at rocks!

Lydia said...

Rachel, I've little to add to the wise words already posted here. We've established you're beautiful, so that's a fact, and it's a given that guys can sometimes be dumb jerks. But yeah, it doesn't feel great when you're not noticed after you've made the effort to look fantastic. But bottom line is that you feel good about what you're wearing, so next time you just have yourself an amazing evening. And us brunettes are awesome!!!

Dennis said...

Tall and an inability to dance go together. Cooridination is hard for us tall folks. I have found it is almost more fun to watch others.

The bar scene is not the deepend of the gene pool there. Maybe the murky area just before it needs to be emptied. Good luck on your search. If he has a sister let me know.

By the way If I start shaking my ass it won't stop so I just don't let it start. It then has a mind of it's own. I hate sitting on my brain.