Friday, January 05, 2007

To Answer Or Not To Answer?

On Tuesday I was at the grocery store shopping and was in the meat department looking for pork ribs because they were on sale. I couldn't find them anywhere so I went to the meat counter asking where they were. The man behind the counter pointed me to a center aisle cooler and wouldn't you know, a whole pile of rib slabs.
Since it is just me and D at home I don't need that much meat so I went back to the counter and asked if I had to buy the whole slab.
The man behind the counter told me that they only sold them in racks but that he could cut them any way that I asked. I explained that I just didn't need that much since it was just me and D. He was very nice and said "I can find the smallest rack that we have and cut it up for you and wrap it in sections so that you can freeze them and use them over time".
He was being so nice but the total amount was just too much of my shopping budget. I told him thanks but no thanks and that I appreciated him trying to be so accomodating but that I was a single mom and I couldn't afford to buy the entire rack on my shopping budget. The man was very understanding. He told me that he completely understands because he is a single dad himself.
His supervisor had been standing there and turned to butcher guy and told him to go ahead and cut a rack in half and sell it to me (which was exactly what my budget allowed price wise). He cut it up, wrapped it and handed it to me.
Then he asked me if I was dating anyone. I told him that I was not. He asked me if I was open to dating. I told him that I was. A bit awkwardly he asked me for my phone number and I gave it to him.
He introduced himself as Tim. I gave him my name and we told each other that it was nice meeting you and I went off to finish my shopping.
On Wednesday I was at karaoke (helping run it for $40) and he called. I didn't answer because I missed the call and decided that since I was busy that I would call him back the next day.
I called back yesterday around 1 PM and left a message for him and then last night at 11:25 he called me but didn't leave a message. I heard the phone ring and figured it was him but chose not to answer because it seems odd to me that he calls so late.
I think that Tim works second shift but I have no idea what time he actually gets off work. I know that he doesn't have a cell phone so part of me wants to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he is calling soon after he gets home. Another part of me keeps thinking that if a guy is calling after 11 PM that it isn't anything more than a booty call, which I am not interested in.
What do you all think? Should I answer next time he calls if it is after 11 PM, or not?


Moment said...

sounds like something out of a movie :)

I think you should answer it next time. Atleast to find out if he's calling late because he works 2nd shift. Then go from there. I'm pretty sure you'll be able to tell if he after one thing after you talk for awhile. Men are obvious most of the time

Eric said...

Yeah I would definitely answer, you're already assuming the worst so you can only be pleasantly surprised. Plus if you don't you just be left to wonder, and I don't know about you, but I hate not knowing for sure when it comes to those kinds of things.

Playtah said...

I'd suggest answering next time. Just to find out, so you don't have to wonder.

Tara said...

I have a friend who called me a few times between 10:30 and 11:00. My cellphone was turned off, but he left a message and it was just to ask how I was doing, nothing remotely related to booty calling.

Maybe since your guy didn't leave a message, he may have realized that he was calling too late? If he calls at a better hour, I would answer the phone.

reformattingmybrain said...

I vote you answer it - at least you'd know for sure and you wouldn't be sitting around wondering. This is such a cool story - it's at least worth a shot Rachel :-)

Erica said...

Hi Rachel! I am back and I have missed my blogfriends! I have just read all your posts you wrote since I was gone. Loved the Hottie, and loved that you have now exposed yourself to the blog world, it was about time, you look absolutely wonderful!
Regarding this post, I think you should answer, as you never know, it might really be the only time he has free to call you.

Sister Mary Lisa said...

Um, why has nobody stated the obvious?? If he's cute, of course answer the damn phone! If he's looking for a booty call, hang up on him.

Rachel said...

Moment ~ You are the second person to tell me that. I thought the grocery store was THE place to meet people. Not that I have in the past, but that is what I have heard.

Eric ~ I hate not knowing either so I guess that I will answer the next time.

Playtah ~ I will.

Tara ~ I usually stay up later on Fridays so if he calls later I will answer.

Reformat ~ Part of me is almost curious to find out how many times he would call if I never answered. I returned both calls and left a message. He called 2 nights in a row. Will he make it a third?

Erica~ WELCOME BACK!!! I missed you too. Can't wait to read about your trip to Rome.

SML ~ He was really, really nice but I would say he was average looking.

This might sound a bit high and mighty but I am not sure that we are in the same dating pool. What I mean by that is that he was really, really nice but I am very attracted to highly intelligent men and I don't know if he fits that description.
I couldn't care less that he is blue collar and I am white collar but I need someone that stimulates my mind. He could be a genius though. A two minute conversation doesn't disclose very much.
I am afraid to put myself out there just to be disappointed.

Sofi said...

Rachel - Give him the benefit of the doubt. He sounds really sweet. And like Moment said, this totally sounds like something out of a movie.

So, do you have a good recipe for pork ribs?

Anonymous said...

Clap on clap off the clapper

ANON1 said...

Rachel - Are you the perfect woman with a perfect face and perfect body? Are you highly intelligent? For a single mom stuck in Western Michigan you sure do have high standards...

David in DC said...

At my house, a call after 11:00 pm on a weeknight gets answered. It might be something urgent.

But if it's not urgent, I'll eventually ask that caller to try to call before ten on weeknights after this.

I need my beauty rest.

Actually, I'm an insomniac, but other folks in my house are either asleep or at least abed at that time.

But I'd definitely answer. If he seems cool and not just making a booty call, I'd defer the "please don't call quite so late" conversation 'til the end of the next date.

If you enjoy the date, you'll be softening the criticism with the news that you WANT him to call again. The male ego can be a fragile thing.

If you don't enjoy it, who cares what he thinks.

Rachel said...

Sofi ~ What was funny is that D was standing there when he started asking me questions and he whispered to me "Mom, he is asking inappropriate questions".
I told him it was ok and sent him off to find baby red potatoes.

For pork ribs I cook them in a crockpot on low for 8 hours then take them out and smother them with Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ sauce...Yum!

Anon ~ Oooohhhhhkkaaaayyyy!

Anon1~ Since I have already put my photo out there you know that I am far for perfect body or looks wise.
I am pretty smart and I want someone who challenges me so of course I would prefer dating someone who is intelligent. I am not talking about Einstein or Edison, just someone who is well rounded and can carry on an in depth conversation and is able to make valid, well thought out points.
I never once said anything about his looks other than when Sister Mary Lisa asked. Looks are by far not the most important thing to me of you remember from my post about going from a 5 to an 8 on personality.

Playtah said...

I can vouch that Rach is highly intelligent. We've had quite a few very deep discussions over the past 4 years. She has very well thought out points.

And I think you're beautiful, Rach! If I was a dude, I'd totally hit on you.

David in DC said...

Whoo-boy, D's bright and self-confident. I like him.

Takes a secure fellow to try to advise his mom on adult interactions when his age has only one digit.

I sooo would have done the same thing to my mom.

And she sooo would have sent me off for potatoes.

Maybe not baby red potatoes. Probably just baking potatoes.

But it was the mid-60's, so it would have been in black-and-white and there would be no cellphones in the story.

Rachel said...

David in DC ~ I called and left a message this morning returning his call from last night. We shall see what happens.

Playtah ~ Thanks chica!! I thought about I said when I replied to Anon1 and I started wondering why I have to defend myself.
Of course I am going to have standards. If I didn't have standards what kind of person would I be? Britney Spears?
Just because I am a single mom doesn't mean that I have to take the bottom dregs of society. The crown prince of Norway married a single mom who was a waitress and **gasp, clutch the pearls** a commoner.
I don't aim that high, but I still want someone who I am attracted too. I would rather be alone than with someone who I wasn't into.

Rachel said...

David In DC ~ D is so smart it is scary.
Every time I go to a parent - teacher conference they comment on how bright he is and how vast his vocabulary is.
I never talked to him in baby talk and always used multisyllabic descriptors with him.
At 3 when he would get mad at me he would say "Mommy, that is unacceptable behavior" which would never fail to make me smile.

ANON1 said...

LMFAO. Thanks for the laughs...

reformattingmybrain said...

Rachel - is the suspense killing you yet? Gawd it's not even me in the situation - but I can't wait for you to find out more :-) One chance won't hurt.

Freckle Face Girl said...

I would answer it because he sounds nice. You can always back out later if things seem strange.

Lydia said...

I was going to say answer the call next time and just see what happens as he does sound like a nice guy. Seeing from one of your comments that you've called him back and left a message already, well good for you. At worst you'll be able to credit yourself for being open to this, and who knows, maybe it'll be something good and enjoyable to pursue. Hope it goes well for you, Rachel.

Ashburnite said...

I would give him the benefit of the doubt. He works the second shift and doesn't have a cell, so "booty call" probably never even crossed his mind. Give him a shot. You never know...

l.b. said...

Since he was so shy about asking for your number it doesn't seem like he'd be the booty call type. And if he works late he could forget sometimes about "normal" calling hours.
I would answer the phone if I were you, just to see whats what, you know?

Basic Theology said...

hello! you should date tim like 15 times, and then never EVER put out, and then when he starts trying to make moves, you should make up a detailed story about how you were really a robot, born without feelings. he will think you're absolutely crazy, but, it will make for some funny blog entries.

...keep that in mind.


answer the phone when he calls after 11, and pretend to sound EXTRA tired. then tell him you were sleeping, and he woke you up, and make him feel really guilty for it. tell him your great grandmother passed away from angina, and that you have to drive for 10 hours tommorow morning, and that he just ruined your sleep, because you just fell asleep, and make him feel horrible. then afterwards, say "psyche!" and he will think you're totally awesome.

those are my choices.

ANON1 said...

Warning: The above advice is bullshit and should not be used by normal people with above average IQs. This has been a friendly message by the great ANON1.