Tuesday, August 29, 2006

The Puppet Master

We all know them, many of us have dealt with one or more. Some of you are currently being controlled by one.
Their skills are wide and varied all coordinated for one goal and one goal only.
To get what they want through manipulation.
They use whispered suggestions, seemingly innocent comments, quietly pushing their chosen puppet to do their bidding.
They are always looking toward the end goal and have infinite patience subtly prodding their prey down the path to achieve the end result that they want.

There is a part of me that almost respects their machinations. The venomous, vitriolic part of me that wishes that I was able to manipulate others to do my bidding.
Is this ability to manipulate others a learned or inherent ability? I don't know. All I know is that I am terrible at it.
Don't get me wrong, I have tried manipulation. When you attempt to manipulate others, you have to have an end goal, a clear path on how to get there and the ability to subtly get people convinced that what you want them to do is actually their own idea.

D's step-monster is an expert manipulator. She has worked D's dad over so many times that he doesn't know which way is up and which way is down.
Her end goal? She doesn't want me or D around. At all.
When Step-Monster met Butthead (D's dad) we had not been together for about 8 months. I had broken up with Butthead for a plethora of reasons that include immaturity, unreliablity and his absolute incapability of not involving his mother in our relationship. The fact that he consistently would quit a job without having another one lined up was another factor.
Step-Monster felt threatened by me and D. She was afraid that if I wanted to get Butthead back that she would lose him. What she didn't know is that I didn't want him back. At all. I was done.
To appease his new girlfriend, Butthead started treating me like shit. He would act like I had the IQ of an amoeba. He would refuse to listen to anything that I had to say in regards to raising our child together that didn't fit into the world that he lived in. The world that revolved around Butthead and how he thought things should go.
Step-Monster has consistenly poisoned Butthead against me and has worked her hardest to make D feel worthless. She has told him that he is stupid, that she wishes that he was never born, that I am a horrible mother and tells him that the whopping $47 that I get per week for child support is putting them in the poor house.

Butthead has called me names in front of our child. He has called me a stupid bitch, an idiot, a money hungry gold digger and many, many other names.For years I tried my hardest to get along with them. I thought that if I was nice and tried not to make waves that we could get along even if just for D's sake. When I found out that Step-Monster was emotionally abusing my child, I was done.
I let them walk all over me like a doormat because I just wanted everything to be amicable. I allowed myself to be manipulated until I woke up and realized what was happening. Step-Monster was doing everything that she could to destroy my child.
Butthead is still being manipulated. He refuses to believe that Step-Monster is doing anything to harm his child. Until he wakes up it is my job alone to protect my child.

The only comfort that I have is that eventually Step-Monster will get what she deserves. It won't happen by my hands. I refuse to stoop to her level. But I have no doubt that she will get hers in the end. Because what comes around goes around. You manipulate people enough, you end up being manipulated and losing everything.
Karma is a bitch.


Funny Girl said...

Yes, she will definitely get hers.

And I can attest that you are not manipulative. :) Although you HAVE given me the occasional guilt trip....but I deserved it. :) LOL. I'm very glad to have such an honest, selfless friend.

And if you need help making sure the Step-Monster gets hers....let me know. I have a ski mask and great hourly rates. Plus I take care of the body.

Rachel said...

LOL.... I admit that I do tend to give good guilt trips, but I suck at manipulation.
You take care of the body too? I might have to eventually re-think my decision....j/k

Sofi said...

The other comfort you should have is that you recognize that their behavior is totally unacceptable, and you don't feed into it.

Rachel Heather said...

WOW - YOU have a step monster and a horrid EX.

And they both do that??

Man i feel for you there and yes they will get what they deserve.

As for manipulation - I hav always believed there are two kinds. Innocent manipulation (I.E Daddy you are the best daddy ever can I please have that doll) and then the bad manipulation that takes advantage or belittles.

I am the expert manipulator in my family. My ex used to say I* have a certain face used to get what I wanted and it worked. :)

Rachel said...

Amy ~ Thank God that I woke up, smelled the coffee and stopped letting them walk all over me.
I was so stupid that I had Step-Monster babysitting so that I didn't have to pay for daycare and was giving them back ALL of the child support (which when daycare was included was $103 per week)

Rach~ They both pretty much suck. Innocent manipulation is fine. To me that isn't manipulation more than being cute and wheedling to get what you want.
But when you know that your manipulation carries a risk of hurting other then it crosses the line.

Erica said...

Rachel, what a horrible woman! And your ex isn't helping either, you must feel so angry at him as well. I hope it gets better though, for your son's sake, he deserves all the best.