Thursday, April 05, 2007

I'll Take Embarrassment With A Side Of Humiliation,Mr. Trebek

D and I take at least one trip per year that requires taking an airplane. Interestingly enough, I had never flown until D was 3 weeks old so it was a new experience for both of us. I think he handled it better than I did.
When D was about 2 years old we took a flight home to see my family. The last plane was a 4 hour flight and we were ready to get off the plane as fast as possible.
For anyone who doesn't fly, as soon as the seat belt sign turns off there is a mad rush to get your carry on and then you stand there like pickles in a jar. The door hasn't opened yet and the further in the plane you are the longer you will stand without moving because the people in front of of you are herding into the aisle like cows to the slaughter.
I was standing in the aisle with D on my hip (so he didn't get trampled) waiting for the line to start moving.
There was an elderly gentleman in front of me that was facing toward us instead of away from us.
D looked at him and started to reach for him and said "Bullshit!"
People looked at us and some started to smile a bit.
D reached for the man again and said "Bullshit!"
My face flamed red and I kept pushing D's hands down but he kept reaching for the elderly gentleman saying "Bullshit" over and over again.
People were laughing out loud but I was so embarrassed.
I never swore in front of D and I had no idea where he would have heard this.
I mumbled something along those lines but people looked at me with a "yeah right" face.
I really looked at the elderly gentleman. Did he look like someone we knew? Not that I could tell.
"Bullshit! Bullshit! Bullshit!". D was raising his voice in excitement and was straining to reach the gentleman who looked at me like I was a very poor mother.
Finally I noticed that he had a pair of wings pinned to his sweater vest. The kind that they give kids who used to visit the cockpit of the plane (this was before 9/11).
The light bulb finally went off in my head. D wasn't saying "Bullshit". He was looking at the pin which he thought was a button and was saying "Push it".
Triumphantly I explained my discovery to the rest of the herd of passengers right before the line started moving. I don't know if they bought it or not.
I was so embarrassed over the entire debacle that as soon as I disembarked I quickly lost myself in the crowd.


Babybull40 said...

as cute as it sounds it would be sooooooooooooo embarassing.. I'm glad you figured out that it was Push it and not bullshit.. Are you laughing now?

Erica said...

This is the funniest story!! Good you realised what he was saying at the end!!
My first flight was when I was in my mum's belly, but after that I was 20 before I flew again, so I am also quite new to the flying business!

laughingattheslut said...

When one of my friends was little, she couldn't properly say "truck."

Everyone thought it was cute except her parents.

reformattingmybrain said...

That is too cute, at the time I imagine it was very embarrassing :-) When my son was little he couldn't say except... he said "persex". He also couldn't say sprinklers. It was a VERY long winter of him asking to play with the blinkers and pointing at the shed.... when enough snow melted to get to the shed we trudged thru what was left and he pointed out he wanted to play with the "blinkers" aka sprinklers!

playtah said...

Kid swearing is always cute...albeit, probably not for the parent. What a cute story. At least it was "bullshit!" and not, "hijack!" or "bomb!" Am I right? :)

Beth said...

Rachel, I guess I was wrong.....YOUR kid DOES have the bs factor!

J/K. As you know.

Kids will always say the worst possible thing at the worst possible times and places.

One of my dearest friends said she was flying--hugely pregnant with her third, and two toddlers--when a grandfatherly person offered to give her a hand with bags, and Meaghan looked at him and yelled, "don't you talkame, you dirty sheranger!"

Her own grandfather had warned her endlessly about 'dirty strangers.'

Moonbeam said...

I laughed out loud while reading this. Too funny. I can see a cute childrens book out of that story. The whole airplane gig and flying with a child included too. Thanks for giving me my morning laugh out loud chuckle, Rachel.

Churlita said...

When my daughter was little she used to call Jennifer Lopez, Jennifer Lezbo. It didn't matter how many times I corrected her either.

Tara said...

You're right, it does feel like cows being led to slaughter. I hate having to merge from my seat into the line of people. You've really got to kind of fight for it.

If I were a customer, I would be laughing at D sounding like he was saying Bullshit, but I'm glad you found out what he was really trying to say. Lol.

David in DC said...

At least he wasn't saying something that sounded like "liberal bullshit".

That woulda been harder to cover for.

Rachel said...

I laughed when I was typing it. It was really embarrassing.

laughingattheslut ~ I know some people who have had the same issues with their kinds mis pronounciations. I thought it was cute too. It is totally different when it is your child.

reformattingmybrain ~ blinker were sprinklers? hehehe

playtah ~ This was pre 9/11 so it probably wouldn't have done much harm.

beth ~ That is so cute. Dirty sherenger. At least grandpa knows that she was listening.

moonbeam ~ I don't think that they will allow the word B*llsh*t in a childrens book.

Churlita ~ It would have been more apropos if she said Lezho instead instead of Lezbo.

Tara ~ Anyone who has flown in a full flight can totally relate. I want to know who the lucky chap is that disembarks first.

David In D.C. ~ It probably was liberal B.S. since I was a democrat at the time.

minijonb said...

similar to laughingattheslut's story about "truck," i could properly use "fuck" at the age of three. i decided to use it at a shoe store when they didn't have a shoe in my size by saying, "oh fuck." my mother tried to cover up for me by claiming i said, "oh truck." nah, the salesperson didn't buy it.

M said...

ROFL! That's a classic and one to bring out for the 21st speeches. :)

Lydia said...

On the one hand that is cute and funny, but I can so relate to your embarassment. I was on the London Underground once with a friend's then 5 year old daughter. People were pushing into us and without meaning to I said "Oh fuck!". And I never swear in front of my friend's kids. So we got on the tube train and a minute or so later stopped in a tunnel and all was quiet, until this little voice said, "Lydia, you just said "fuck". What does fuck mean?" I was mortified and just muttered something about it being a grown up word and nothing she needed to know about. Thankfully my friend was fine about it and just thought it was really funny.