Friday, November 10, 2006

Can You Go From A 5 To An 8 On Personality?

Have you ever met someone that you thought was average looking but the more you got to know them the more attractive they became to you?
Someone told me that it doesn’t work that way for men.
Just wondering what your thoughts are.
I met someone when I was younger that I thought was kinda cute. It took a while but after I got to know him the more attractive that he became to me. It actually changed what I found attractive to a certain degree.
If you met one of the "average Joe's" that I posted here would you consider dating him? What criteria (looks wise) is a deal breaker for you?
I refuse to date someone with bad teeth (cavities or extremely crooked). If I met someone with really crooked teeth that had an awesome personality my opinion might change.

18 comments:

funny girl (playtah) said...

Absolutely, a guy can go from a 5 to an 8 with his personality. There was a guy in college I knew that really wasn't all that great looking, but he had an amazing personality--one of my friends actually ended up marrying him! Personality can make all the difference in the world between a guy you are attracted to, and a guy that you truly, truly love.

Freckle Face Girl said...

Personality can definitely make someone either more attractive or less attractive. I don't mind average looking guys. Besides, if he is too handsome (10), everyone will say what is he doing with her & girls will be drooling all over him.

Anonymous said...

I agree absolutely that personality would change somebody from a 5 to an 8, easily. It happened to me a few times with some guys. It is a wonderful thing, it means looks are not so important at all.

Rachelle said...

That's weird, I was just thinking about this very same thing and how it works that way for girls, but not for guys.

I definitely do this. I can't even decide if a guy is attractive or not until I actually talk to him, because if his looks are gorgeous but he's stupid, then he's completely unnattractive to me.

However, I don't think guys do this. Probably because they're all shallow and superficial. ;)

Kind of kidding... but they already have preconceived notions of what "hot" is and if their friends can't determine a girl is hot by looking at a picture of her, then they're not having her.

Anonymous said...

Can a girl go from a 5 to an 8 with a good personality? No.

Anonymous said...

Would not date any of the average joe's there. Don't swing that way. I have dated people that outwardly are not the most attractive. I also have dated someone that until they spoke where extremely good looking. Then they said something, down hill from there. Personally looks are what starts things but not what makes it work. If I am not challenged mentally and the girl that I am dating is not a very nice person, looks are no longer important.

Rachel said...

FG ~ Two words. Skipp Yowler.

Freckle ~ I prefer to be with someone who isn't obsessed with their looks. Usually when someone is a "10" they are too into themselves. There are the rare ones though who have no idea how attractive they are.

Erica ~ If women aren't as hung up on looks does that mean that we are more evolved?

Rachelle ~ First of all..Welcome to my blog and thank you for commenting.
If a guy has the personality of an amoeba.. I am done no matter how hot he is.
I have heard over and over that men are more visual and women are more cerebreal. I think I am happy that I am a woman.

Anon ~ That is what I seem to be getting from men in general. Thanks for the imput.

Anon2 ~ I will agree with you that looks are important intially. Good for you that you consider personality even though I know that you are "visual". (your own words)

Lydia said...

As I've gotten older, and hopefully wiser, I've realised that a guy's personality is so much more important than his looks. In fact personality is ultimately what makes a guy attractive to me anyway. And physical attractiveness of a man is more about things like great eyes and smile rather than conventional good looks.

minijonb said...

I gave up on the number system a long time ago. Ranking people from 1 to 10 is too much like how I rank music or movies... or porn stars =;-)

I need to be attracted to a person's personality and physical looks.

...you think that's a cop out of an answer, don't you? So can someone go from a 5 to an 8 on persoanlity? Our society makes it easier for men to pull this off; in general, women put more weight on personality in the long run; but that jump from 5 to 8 is pretty big... it would be more like a jump from 5 to 6 or a jump from 7 to 8.

Rachel said...

Lydia ~ I think that men actually do learn that the older that they get. I just think that women figure it out earlier in life.

MiniJonB ~ The ranking system was an example. It was an easy way to get the point across.
I don't think that it was a cop-out answer. You do give some credit for personality but I think that women give personality almost as much consideration as looks. If you are a -3,even with a great personality, there is virtually no way that a girl that would be considered a 8 would ever be interested. Unless she was blind.

Wanderlusting said...

Oh yeah Im not attracted to most men until I meet them, spend time with them, laugh with them and then, magically, they become the most gorgeous guy in the world.

I think it does work for men that way too. But it could be that he has decided whether you are cute or not before he gets to know you and being "wonderful" wont change that a bit. I dunno, actually. Men just might not work that way but im sure there are some exceptions.

Pam said...

The best looking men I've dated have turned out to be the ZEROS! (okay, a little exaggeration there) Personality, character, sense of humor, all of that - that's what I find attractive.

Eric said...

I've been getting by on personality for years so I hope its the case the people can become more attractive with a good personality

Tara said...

A guy can also go from 8 to 5 with his personality. I had such a crush on a guy about a year ago. He wasn't what a lot of people would call hot, but he was a nice guy and cute. He just had an essence. Lately, though, as I've gotten to know him more, he has a neglectful way about him. Doesn't ask questions, doesn't seem to care about anything I have to say, I wind up caring more about him than he does with me apparently. GRR.

Balderdash said...

Rachel, I'm curious why, in one of your comment responses, you related women's relative lack of interest in looks to being more "evolved?" I don't see the connection. But, like you said, I'm 'visual' so I'll need a picture book or a pie chart to understand it.

A woman can definitely go from an 8 to a 5, based on personality. The other direction...hmm...take twins, both 5 in looks, one is very self confident and happy, the other insecure and a 'downer.' It's certainly possible the self confident one would rank an 8 compared to her sister.

Rachel said...

Wanderlust ~ I like the way you think. There are definitely no hard or fast rules that apply to everyone.

Pam ~ I have dated some very good looking men who's personality definitely lowered my interest in them.

Eric ~ I like your personality so I already imagine you as being great looking in my head.

Balderdash ~ Excellent question. I did say more evolved. What I meant by that statement is that women tend to be stimulated more cereberally than visually. Of course we do get turned on visually to a point. But it gets 10 times better if we get mental stimulation at the same time.
Could be why more women read erotic romance novels and more men watch porn.

l.b. said...

I have had that happen with men and even with my girl friends...as I get to know them and appreciate them, they become more appealing in every way, including looks. I'm not sure I have one deal breaker, although I do tend to be drawn to a certain type a lot.

Erica said...

I agree with you Rachel about women being more mentally than visually stimulated, it is so true, but some guys do not seem too realise this, they think we should all be watching porn!